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I’m going to start with the TLDR: I am back, with a somewhat diminished output, and will not be charging for November. Please stay, there will be some content. Read on for details.

This is for folks that have been wondering. I’m doing okay. mentally, but the events of late have sapped most of my desire to be creative. I’ll have an idea and I’ll get hit with the “why bother” of depression. It hit me really bad during the work on Final girls (mostly because I don’t think Silk can be the kind of project I want it to be with my available time).

My family has spent 8 weeks intermittently sick and unable to leave the house. Trying not to get sick has made us feel isolated, and we end up feeling sick anyway (and who wants to be around other people when you (or they) are sick?). So, doesn’t help. AND to top it off, I tore some muscles in my abdominal wall from coughing, so every cough, sneeze, nose blow, bending over, etc, is agony.

We also suffered a young death in the family; my sister’s step son, who was a great kid that I didn’t get a chance to know very well (because of distance / pandemic) and… just snuffed short.

My day job has never been great, but it’s an absolute nightmare now, flailing with the departure of one of the partners, and having poor management. We’re bleeding upper and middle management like a stuck pig and my job is to unappreciatively point out icebergs we’re heading full while being asked to bail water. I’ve been there 15 years, there are some things I understand, and there’s not only no willpower to fix the problems, but countlessly being reminded about them always brings shock and confusion, and then status quo.

So, when you have a day job and you see your side job not pick up the steam you would like to make the jump… not even being close… it just adds to that depression.

And I would love to do this full time. But barring some breakthrough, I don't see that happening.

In any event, I can’t stop doing this. Not yet. I love this community. I like knowing you enjoy my work (even if you all don’t click hearts… CLICK HEARTS! :) I expected a much bigger exodus during October. And it was, there were 75 people that left. But. Honestly, I usually vacillate around 50 when I’m putting out steady content.

You guys are here for me. I love you guys. And I am not going to throw away friends who love my work and are willing to stay.

I have a project. It’s in my wheelhouse, it’s transformation and toon related, it’s a comic. It’s going to be original characters. And I really want to let you see it. But not until I have enough of a buffer to carry me through weeks I can’t produce. So, while I work on the first little bit of it, I’m going to keep the Patreon from charging (if you see a recurring charge show up, let me know). I may produce some fan art pieces, I will post the little bits of art I did in October that were just on the Discord, and maybe start migrating some of my Deviantart work over to the Patreon as well.

Things aren’t good right now. And I don’t know what next month will bring. All I know is if this is a temporary low, I don’t want to solve it with a permanent solution (leaving Patreon). So, for now, November will be a little like October, but maybe with more of a light at the end. :)

I love you guys.

Keep Dreaming!

— Gnome

Comments

Anonymous

I sincerely hope that things get better for you, Gnome. We all deserve to be happy and have peace and peace of mind. I'm glad that you are still here, and you do what's best for you as you and the ones you love. My condolences for your loss, and I'm sorry to hear of all of your hardships. We'll be here waiting as you heal. Take your time. We just want you to feel better and find happiness and joy on your terms. Do take care.

Omgicanthinkofaname

The pandemic was really tough, I'm sorry to hear that you're still dealing with all the problems it spawned. Trying to balance a hobby, family, and work while dealing with all these problems is incredibly hard. Take the time you need and I hope things get atleast alittle better.