I can't keep quiet anymore. (Patreon)

8 and a half miles away from where my son sleeps, George Floyd was murdered by people who took an oath to protect the public. I feel that living where I do, I cannot stay silent about it. It seems to be the Minnesota way, the white way, of doing things is to remain silent. Don't stir things up. Or even, who am I to be white knighting, this is another instance where a middle-aged white man doesn't need to speak out.

And then I look to my personal Facebook feed, full of more well-intentioned, middle aged white men (and women, but it's mostly men), and I couldn't not say anything anymore.

Institutional Racism is insidious. You try to fight against it in society, but you back down because it doesn't pop up when it's easy to fight. When you're with some stranger you don't know. Or with friends you know really well. It's a comment at work. It's your brother-in-law. And it's always gray.

You mention how you donated food this weekend and it was heartening to see the community come together when stores were burned down. The co-worker agrees that this is what true community in Minnesota means. And just when you're feeling better, they say, "It's sad that we had to do this. They just burned down their neighborhood." So, community in Minnesota... isn't the people near the Sanford school? I live closer to them than I do you. So, our community isn't about where we live at all. Is it? That's what I'm being told. And my white co-workers don't even know they're saying it.

Or, its a post about framing: "It's terrible that black man was murdered by the police, but they need to stop rioting" instead of "It's terrible that there's rioting, but the police needs to stop murdering black people." That's a simple sentiment, followed up, by someone I know with, "Did you hear rioters blocked a firetruck and a family almost died? They're both bad." Yes. I agree. They are both bad. You can be appalled by both. In no way did my statement say rioting was -good- or -excusable-. Did you even read what was written? No. Because there is a script to maintain among the privileged white. We, of course, can trust in the system. So should they.

I don't know how I can help other than to keep having these conversations. As Van Jones put it when he talked to Conan O'Brien, "Education costs." It's exhausting continuing to have these conversations. And deep down, we as white America acknowledge there is something wrong with society because if you bring it up, we are immediately defensive. I'm not racist. But when we exist in a community where there are others that suffer because of it, we benefit from it. Because isn't it a boon not to suffer?

I'm really rambling, because it's hard to know what to say. I think I'll end with some positivity. Mr. Rogers said "Look for the helpers. In a tragedy, there are always people that are helping." The morning after the riots, the community (some of the same ones that were protesting the evening before) was out with bags and brooms, cleaning up the messes. In a school district that asked for 85 food kits, nearly 30,000 were delivered. No one, not even my conservative relatives, makes excuses for the cop that killed George Floyd. There was no "He was running away," or "He was approaching him in a threatening manner". None of that. It's small, but it's something.  There are lights in the darkness, is what I'm saying. If you'd like to be one, please see below (copied from this article in the Cut) :

Campaign Zero (fights to end police brutality)

Reclaim the Block — a Minneapolis organization devoted to reallocating the city’s money away from the police department and toward community-led safety initiatives

George Floyd’s family has started a GoFundMe to cover funeral and burial costs; counseling services; legal fees; and continued care for his children.

There are several bail funds available as well. ActBlue has a page that will let you split your donation between 38 community bail funds; if you’d prefer to donate to just one fund, here’s a list of bail funds by city.

One again, thank you for reading this post. It's a little bit of a brain dump, I feel I needed to do it. It's not just a mantra and a slogan, its a change in the way we think: Black Lives Matter!

Stay safe out there, have conversations when you can, and please keep up hope.