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Duggar Family Deep Dive (Chapter 4) (Patreon)

Published:
2023-08-28 14:00:07
Imported:
2024-02

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Dr Kirk and Humberto analyze the Duggar family, modern Christian cults, the ethics of children in reality TV, and so much more.

00:00 The Duggar family on TV

09:42 Duggar family structure

20:48 Parentification

30:57 Humberto's parentification

49:09 Moving forward from being parentified (Patron-only portion starts)

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August 28, 2023

The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®

Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

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Anonymous

Again, I find so much of myself in the discussion about Humberto's car. It's like I know what that feels like, and I know that desire for secrecy. I also feel so young when I'm in that state. When I listen to Humberto, I hear how he can't tell if it was an impulse buy or it was just him buying something he wants, perhaps because there are both the impulse and planning there. This is the kind of stuff awareness alone doesn't help much, but learning to manage makes a difference. I'm familiar with those kinds of impulses, and, for some reason, they feel scary. That desire to keep what you intend to do a secret feels unsafe, and scares me. There is something about it that reminds me of how abuse feels like, like how it feels when somebody manipulates you into a situation. In that moment, I feel like there is something that's manipulating me into doing something, and keeping it a secret. It's likely it's just the nature of mischievious thoughts, and it's possible I fear punishment when I have them. Perhaps there wasn't much room to be mischevious or to make mistakes when I was a child, and this is my way of getting what I want. It's like once I'm in that state, my mind tells me it's not safe to talk about it to anyone because people aren't reliable. Perhaps it's some kind of emotional flashback triggered by a valid need, so I myself can't help but view my inclanation somewhat devious. In Humberto's case, there is nothing wrong with wanting and buying a nice car, but his experience of it doesn't seem so neutral. Perhaps it's vulnerable to be that way, like so human, and so not safe, so he needs the secrecy to hide how human he is, like all those fears. If he shares his thoughts about the car, he has to talk about the feelings about why he bought them, and I would personally hate going there. No way I would tell people how terrified I am in the moments of those impulses. I would honour the impulse as safely as possible, everybody else would have to be on board with how I'm coping. That's something to keep in my mind for me perhaps. When I feel like I have an impulse for a particular course of action, it's usually about a need that points to a vulnerability that I feel ashamed of. The impulse tends to be about meeting the need without revealing the vulnerability, and perhaps that's why it feels mischiveous and manipulative. Anyways, I hope you two talk more about this in later episodes.

Anonymous

I'm just the exact same with Berto about buying things. Now that I'm earning my own money, I've definitely been overspending on superfluous things because I justify it by thinking "Well I never go to have this when I was a kid!". I also feel a lot of guilt once I buy the thing and I want to give it back. I think part of this is also ADHD because I just want the dopamine hit of buying something. Also since online shopping is SO convenient, and you get your stuff almost immediately that it's even harder not to over shop. - Jules