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Dr Kirk and Humberto talk about how to talk with your children about preventing sexual assault.

00:00 Intro

02:10 Talking to children about grooming behavior

26:46 Keeping secrets

35:00 Respect, consent, gut feelings

42:49 Understanding the online world


Protecting Your Children from Sexual Abuse

February 24, 2023

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Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.

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Anonymous

What age should you start talking about these ideas ? I've a three year here and worry about letting her into other people's houses for playdates etc. What can I say to her ? Thanks for this podcast it's a really scary but important conversation. I too experienced this and I wish my parents had spoke me about it first and after.

PsychologyInSeattle

It depends on the child, but yes, it's recommended that parents talk with children about this in an age appropriate manner. I would start with notions of consent, body integrity, telling you if anything happens, etc.

Anonymous

I have been labeled a helicopter parent by my free range parenting brother. But that is because our mom was abused by a family member. So I do not really trust my children with anyone. Even other children. I take my responsibility as their protector to heart. I am also afraid to fail them or make a mistake. When I was child of 7 or 8 my mother had to put us in after school child care. A boy around my age groped me inappropriately and I felt totally violated. And this happened on the playground right in front of caregivers, they just happened to not see it, it happened so quick. Plus there were many children there. I never told anyone. Even though my mom always told us to tell her things like that and she told us about the horrors she suffered. (Not in detail of course.) But to be honest, that was a contributing factor why I never told her. I did not want to upset her. These experiences has made me a helicopter parent in a way. I don't let my kids sleep over until they are of an age where they are strong willed and outspoken, hard to manipulate, and can stick to boundaries. Which in my standards is a older teenager. (16 or 17 maybe. I don't think there is a magic age, because people are all different.) Also, as I got older I had no ill feelings toward that boy even though at the time I despised him afterwards. I just came to realize that he could have been exposed to something he should not have been as a child. He probably was whether it was a parent, sibling, media, or neighborhood kid. So I am very protective over my kids. And kids in general, because what if my child hits another child or does something out of line. I don't want that either. I am always with them. Even when there is a bunch of kids playing at our house. They are always in my line of sight. Even when they play in the backyard, I might hang out on the garden swing or watch them from the window. That seems very strange to some people, but I don't care. I even have a baby monitor in the little ones rooms still and they are 7 and 12. It is pretty useful because they are brothers and sometimes get into some serious fights. And the 7 year old is actually always the aggressor lol. Being able to hear or see how is started is very helpful in stopping it and diffusing the situation. I asked my 12 year old if he wanted me to take it down and he said keep it because [his brother] is always trying to lie about who started it. lol