L.Y. Ep02 Pt.01 + Life Update Ramble (Patreon)

I got up early this morning to make good headway on this episode so I Could jump back into commissions During the Nap Shift, but this morning SUCKED and drained me so much, I hardly managed to get even this done (RECYCLED PANELS?! YES)

I‘m in that weird, “Oh my god, I only have one episode done and the contest starts THIS MONTH” mania, so I kinda... freeze up whenever I try to make progress on this. And I get even more frozen when I want to churn through comms or rewards but I know the ones I have to do next won’t be done in one sitting BUT I DONT want to jump out of order from the queue just to finish some fast ones, so!! I know it’s a stupid panic mode I get sucked into every other week, and that’s why I seem to go radio silent for days at a time - I’m working on bits and pieces of things here and there, but never really finishing one thing during these periods, and not finishing at least ONE thing every day also makes me feel 🤢🤢🤢 about my process as a whole. Is there a reasonable workaround for this? YES! Can I commit to it? IDK!

Its just an accumulation of things, I think. Home life, family stress, PANDEMIC, etc. Each and every one of us is going through it right now. I keep hearing people say, “It’s okay if you’re not as productive as usual right now, things are hard.” and I try to repeat that to myself during ruts like this, but the hard part is that - aside from having Ant home everyday, and Eli not getting to go see family anymore - things aren’t that different here. So it FEELS like I should be working like normal, I should be super productive, I should be managing my time like a superhuman now that Ant is home to help with Eli more!!! But that’s. Not always the case. There are some days where I do really great! And then other days where it feels like the world has piled up on all of us, and I can’t move At all.

I’m sorry for rambling. If you’re still reading this, I think I would like to say: Thank you. Talking with a friend reminded me that I have so much to be thankful for, and even though I have let you guys and my commissioners down so many times, you all have always been so forgiving and encouraging. My real life support system isn’t spectacular. (If you follow my priv account, LAUGHS you know...) but my online support has been out of this world the past few years. I think... i want to start taking a moment everyday to remember that. Because I know I definitely take it for granted. And I don’t want to miss out on this! Patreon is really THE place that keeps my art and my projects alive. Commissions and KoFis are just as wonderful, but Patreon has been the team that’s stuck around through the years. And I backslide on and off and on and off, and... well, we all know I can make promises I don’t always keep, whether it be forgetfulness, bad time management, etc. BUT

I want to pull up my britches and keep trying to do better here. Because I wouldn’t be able to make my stories without you guys. I wouldn’t be able to draw for a living. And... as much I get burnt out, this really is my first true love: Making art. And sharing that art with people who love it too.

so, to you all: Thank you. Im grateful. Eternally.