My Futa Incelf is a Cute Tsundere 1 (Patreon)

My Futa Incelf is a Cute Tsundere - Or ‘By accident and development, I end up with a submissive and breedable GF’ (Futanari no Elf, SI)

Inspired by: 450151

The Human-Elf Exchange Program was a staple program that had been developed just recently.

It’s been just short of two years since gates into another world had been opened. And while this may coax people to think that it was a full-fledged fantasy isekai situation, the truth was far more simple than just that.

In fact, one can describe the ones we found on the other side as… What would happen if, instead of humans, another Earth with magic was inhabited by Elves. It was just Elves- no Dragons, Demons, or even other humans.

Due to the general lack of other species, the elves hardly faced many conflicts. Even internal conflicts were few and rare, with the long lifespan compared to human life granting them lasting stable leaderships with clear lines of succession.

While the Elves were divided in nations akin to how humans were, the cultures hardly clashed as they followed the same religion and were tolerant of one another. Despite that, elves were also curious entities as they found humanity ‘flawed but amazing’.

Due to their extensive peace periods, they hardly got as much of a technological superiority and even their magic was hardly studied upon beyond medical and botanic reasons.

Thus, when humanity started peaceful negotiations, Elves were quick to be interested in their cultures and made specific choices to interact with some of its countries in a more friendly outlook.

Soon various sections of the HEEP were established, with some seeing countries interacting with one another to create mixed small groups. My story begins when I was told that the Italian government had agreed to work with the Japanese one in an effort to send a ‘male-female group’ through one of the gates near Tokyo.

I was chosen as the male candidate due to my academic grades being good but ‘not too good’. Meanwhile, Japan sent their… one of their ‘cultured’ women. Actually no, calling Yuri a pervert would be an overstatement.

The seemingly average brunette that was Yuri was more of a ‘teasing girl’. She likes to be playful with others, and her antics felt quite ‘normal’ to me as an Italian. I had a feeling that’s why the combination was meant to work. She was a feisty girl, and I was a quiet guy.

So, it worked in a harmonious contrast that didn’t go antagonistic at all. And, by the end of the first month spent in the Elf World’s equivalent of a ‘Japanese High School’, I would say that progress was made.

By Yuri alone as she scored herself a friend.

As the teasing extrovert that she proudly proclaimed herself to be, Yuri had gotten herself a friend in the first days of school. This one being… Mara-’chan’.

I usually don’t call her with that honorifics out of the fact that it wasn’t common in Elf culture and because I was not Japanese at all. The magic used to enable translation into the Elf language didn’t seem capable of curbing that curious bit of the Japanese language, or perhaps Yuri was putting an extra effort into it but…

There’s also the fact that Mara was the one that gave Yuri a ‘valuable lessons’ in reading beforehand the kind of culture she was dealing with. One thing that many don’t seem to realize and perhaps is tied to the human’s prejudice upon fantasy elves is that…

There are no male elves. All of them were full-package futanari girls. Dicks, Balls, Pussies.

The fact that Yuri didn’t know that until she managed to give poor Mara a boner or two was really hilarious. I knew before leaving as it had sparked a bit of outcry in Western Society that such a biological circumstance was possible. It wasn’t too extensive, but some people were quite opposed to that.

Not enough to cause trouble with magic being a good deterrent for troublemakers without hurting them.

Still, I have to say this matter was irritating for me. First, I was a guy… in a world where there are no other guys in the town I was living in. I could only see women… packing heat down below. Some more than others, and I heard that a few were not as blessed as the rest.

Up to the end of the month, I had only met ‘big ones’. Mara, the Dorm Mother Funou, and many other girls at school… Yeah, bathroom breaks were awkward when I had to go to school.

Plus, the sight of a ‘man’ seemed to get many eyes on me. Elves had only heard of what I looked like, but the sight of a masculine figure tended to gain attention quite swiftly in outdoor walks.

Thank God I spend most of the time here indoors…

All in all, it was an awkward but overall feasible experience. I would have to spend highschool there, do good with my grades and come back home to find ‘great celebrations’ for being the first Sicilian to pass school into one of the elven kingdoms.

Then… ‘disaster struck’.

Like it was common in some Japanese schools, the one I was studying at didn’t have janitors as students were selected on a weekly basis to take care of the classroom after the school day was over. It happened once to me in the first week, but now I was going to do this with someone not many were able to interact nicely with.

The twin-tailed blonde elf girl with a modest bosom and a propensity to be a tsundere tomboy that was Tansho was a rather difficult person. It wasn’t much like she started trouble or sought to cause disruptions, but seemed to be rather upset when people had ‘random boners’ around.

It was quite common for elves going through puberty to end up with hard woods early in the morning or during lessons when some voluptuous girls were asked to solve some exercise by the blackboard and showed their pretty butts.

Human guys could ‘handle’ it on most occasions, elves not as much.

What was really hilarious was that there was no rule really ‘punishing’ elves for having boners. Sexual harassment? That was a rule-breaker, but if the reaction was just a boner with no stroking or even showing it off, then no repercussions were meant to be pushed on these students.

It was clear that poor Tansho was a girl with some problems around the dick. Her dick to be specific. To go further deep into the detail, Tansho had a strange ‘curvy’ shape visible through her spats as she wore the gym outfit for most of the classes at school.

To girls and fellow elves, that was just a strange dick, but to someone that was familiar with some tools after looking into porn sites for a while, I could tell the situation was more ironic than that.

So, it kind of came up while I was pretty much doing all the cleaning as Tansho was reading a book.

“You could also help,” I pointed out, the tsundere brat scoffing and not giving me any glance.

“I overexerted myself during gymnastics.”

“So much that you can’t use a broomstick to clean the floor?” I asked back, causing her to glare up at me.

“Yes.”

I shook my head at that frustrating bitch.

“Dumb and small-dicked.”

It was meant to be a whisper, but I forgot that Elves were also good at hearing quiet comments.

“W-WHAT?!” Tansho squawked angrily. “I-I am not small down there!”

The blonde stood up from the desk she had been sitting on and turned to fully stare at me, trying to emphasize her ‘bulge’ without being too forceful about it.

I sighed. “You are wearing a dick pad.”

Her mouth opened-

“And you are clearly so insecure about it that you project that in disliking any displays of big dicks.”

“I don’t-”

“There’s also the chance you feel so insecure about it that you don’t touch yourself thinking it would only make you feel less than the rest.”

Her anger was now slowly being replaced by dread and unease.

“I-I am not-”

“And finally, I think that is bad for your health- the fact you have a dick pad there as these spats will press on it and squish against your cock. In fact, if you let that keep on going without fapping, you may as well cause yourself some serious pain and damage. You need to be more mindful of this as just thinking that the size of the cock matters in love is just ridiculous- especially among you elves as I know that it really doesn’t matter.”

My last and lengthier response drew a sudden shift into her ‘declining reaction’. From depressing, the tone of the conversation turned into pure and unfiltered confusion.

“...R-Really? It can be bad- can it hurt my penis or-”

“Hold it,” I interjected in an effort to curb her panic. “It doesn’t mean that your dick is going to be hurt, but your balls are definitely going to get hurt if you trip and land by your groin if they get too swollen.”

Tansho’s eyes were wide open.

“A-And how do I avoid that?”

“Two things, drop the pad and masturbate more often at home. At least once a day.”

“But masturbating is shameful for someone that isn’t in a marriage!”

…She can’t be that naive- actually, scratch that. Elves are known to be quite naive early on and Tansho was a fucking tsundere.

“Girl, fapping is a reasonable way to keep the horny at bay. It would be frowned upon if you tell what you do in the private to others as no one here would tell you they do that too. Hell, I do fap.”

“...You do?”

“Yep.”

“...Can you teach me?”

I frowned at that. “I think that’s a tall request.”

“Y-You are that brought it up!” Tansho slammed back. “H-how about a bet!?”

“...Go on?”

Let’s see what’s up in her mind.

“I-If I am bigger than you, you teach me. If not then you… You can do whatever you want with me.”

…I feel like she is setting herself up for a ‘win-win’ situation here. But… I can be a bit of a dick about this sort of stuff myself.

“Deal.”

She smiled nervously, removing the pad and… lowering her spats. School uniforms for elves lacked underwear as it was prohibited. We humans could wear it, but there’s a reason why boners were easier to spot as no one wore panties or boxers in this school.

The sight I was shown was… Amusing. While at first I was bracing to be greeted by a willy, the size of it compared to its big testicles was… just too hilarious for me to hold back an amused snort.

“I-It’s not that small.”

“It’s the ‘cute’ kind of small. It looks so innocent.”

Her face was burning red. “I… I don’t know if this is an insult or a compliment but-!!”

I used this chance to lower my pants and boxer too. All this sex-talking and looking at her good tits had me rocking a boner, but I was good at hiding it. As soon as the cock was out, Tansho’s gaze was fully conquered by it.

Her wide eyes were stunned as it stood proudly erected and… her mouth was watering at the sight.

“So~?”

“You are so big- I mean, that’s average.”

“It sure is compared to some big ones among you elves,” I admitted flatly, stunning her for my careless view on the topic. “But I don’t mind being this size. If it pleases the girl, then that’s going to be fine by me.”

“I-I see.”

“So, I won.”

She gulped nervously, knowing that she was up for something naughty.

“Y-Yes.”

I walked up to her, still keeping my pants off as I approached the tense blonde and… gave her a kiss on the cheek. She burned up, her ears ‘flapping’ in a clear sight of pure embarrassment and-

“Mhh~!”

She came. Despite the size of her pecker, the cumshot that she produced was quite thick and intense. I blinked in surprise at it, keeping close as she almost buckled her legs due to the release’s intensity.

“...S-Sorry.”

“It’s alright, Tansho-chan. ‘That’ is why you also need to masturbate more in private or you may end up being a quickshooter when you don’t want to. Okay?”

She nodded weakly, yet ‘found her strength’ to stand up as I leaned for another kiss on the cheek.

“J-John-kun?”

“Hm?”

“A-Are we a couple?”

“Too early to say,” I replied to Tansho and she nodded. “But if you need some help, I may as well play with you. In private, that is.”

Her face burned red, her Tsun-Tsun currently disabled as she was going full Dere-Dere.

Despite how odd this interaction went, I had set myself to claim this opportunity to get a ‘friend’ and… also avoid getting paired with a big-dicked elf. The last thing I needed was someone as sweet as Mara try to get to me while pondering the consequences of fucking a human male’s ass.

Yup, I think I can ‘take care’ of Tansho here.

That’s what I thought before I realized how much of an Incelf the girl truly was.

--------------d-d-d-d—--------

AN

John may also end up with an unusual… second interest. One that is only trying to make her mama happy by being together with a ‘papa’. It sounds like a Loli, but she is not. In fact, there’s no loli that gets lewded in the series.