My Dark Lady Shouldn't Be This Cute 1 (Patreon)

My Dark Lady Shouldn't Be This Cute - or ‘The day I had to become a bit of a teddy bear to my beloved Dark (Cutie) Lady Tammy’ (HP SI, feat. Fem!TomRiddle)

Being reborn is a sucky thing. Then again, this happened right after getting hit by a car driven by a drunk bastard.

I would say that dying, in general, sucks big testicles, but the situation I was in was as confusing as I could get. I was reborn as a baby- an orphan at that. I remember very little of the few years of my existence.

I think my brain and ‘mind’ were a bit incompatible as my underdeveloped thing couldn’t exactly keep up with the needs of my mind… thus ‘zoning me out’ from many situations early on.

Not all, with some notable circumstances firmly creating a very unusual background for little Ezekiel (that’s me, by the way). No last name as I was found by some police officers patrolling an alley where people had heard a child’s cry come from.

It was just me on a tiny towel that had grown wet due to some… bodily reactions beyond my control. I was picked up, left at the nearest orphanage and given this name. I wouldn’t say much had to be told of the orphanage at this point as I was mostly left to ‘play’ in an old and creaky crib that put me in a bit of unease.

It was clearly not meant to be used at this stage of its existence, and each time I was ‘aware’, I would pray a bit for it to not snap and break, for that could be a nasty way to die again.

Now, many would think this is not something that matters, but two weeks after I was found and given the oldest crib around, I ended up having a ‘crib mate’. I wasn’t sure how this happened or if it was some cruel joke that an orphanage was running short of cribs, but this little one was settled on the crib with me.

Tiny, weak, a bit pale and on the cold side of the touch. I realized quickly the baby was a girl and that her bawling was due to the fact she was freezing up a bit. She missed a motherly warmth- how old was she even at this point?

Due to the instinctive unease I had on the topic, my mind managed to retain some control and dictate the best solution to this. Hug the baby girl, make her know she is not alone, make her less cold.

Turns out that this was all the little thing needed to find some peace. Snuggling back, the crying ended and soon I was given the chance to go back to sleep. If before I was worried for that crib to break, now that worry was doubled. Much to my relief, however, that never came to happen as Tammy and I were little.

And yes, the little one’s name was soon known to me in the ensuing days. For some reason, the matron in charge of us was quite ‘forgetful’ of using her name, calling her many pretty things and looking somewhat upset to handle her. It wasn’t the ‘I do not like my job’ kind of upset but… ‘I am afraid this child is possessed or something’.

Truth be told, one could easily think that once they were blessed with a gaze from the innocent baby girl. Her eyes were blood red- and yet the ‘zapping feeling’ with those felt that there was more than just emotion behind that glow.

Nonetheless, Tammy and I grew up just fine together. At the ripe age of 8, we were two inseparable ‘nightmares’. Mostly for bullies. Due to how crappy the Orphanage was, we hardly had any break from some people there.

It didn’t help that I realized what is going on and where I was right as I got old enough to properly ‘wander around’ on my own. Wool’s Orphanage, it made sense why I was able to ‘use the Force’ to make Mrs. Cole lost her cool a few times by moving things around while she was changing my diaper.

Ye’r a weezard, Zeke!

And the adorable little girl that had become something of a sister to me, that liked to smile and play around with me a lot was none other than the female version of Tom Marvolo Riddle. You know, the Dark Lord that goes by the name Voldemort.

This adorable girl was meant to become the scourge of Magical Britain for several decades of this century.

“Zeeeeke! Let’s go play with the kittens of Mrs. Barks.”

The little whine, the giggles, the pure adorable factor she was bestowed with- this was not Tom Riddle. Not at all.

Tammy was lively and, despite some bouts of ‘wrath’ which I had helped her mature through, she was an innocent bean on this side of the jolly pre-WW2 World. I guess my presence had severely changed that, and through the understanding of how ‘practical pranking’ works, the girl never once used magic as a method of retaliation.

Return fire with fire at best, never go too harsh to those that don’t deserve it.

I taught her this, and this had turned into something she follows religiously when it comes to ‘counter-bullying’ people like Billy Stubbs. So, what should have eventually resulted in a dead rabbit ended up into something a bit mean but somewhat amusing- we found a way to paint fur without damaging the animal, and made that thing pink.

The jabs at the little shit were glorious and while the boy tried to exert dominance, he found himself targeted by some well-distributed tomatoes that Tammy and I gave to the other kids.

It was one of those instances that shaped us as the ‘odd duo’ at the orphanage. We didn’t reach out to the other groups, but we were not seen negatively by most of those as we were neutral in most businesses.

Which is why, three years later as 1938 came forth, I wasn’t feeling that nervous when Albus Dumbledore himself came to visit the orphanage. No stolen good, no horrible deed, we were revered as ‘good but troublesome kids’ by Mrs. Cole- we were pretty much several steps in the side of being ‘good cookies’.

And Albus Dumbledore was… annoyed. Not at us, that I believe I need to say.

He was just taking note of us, giving us a swift explanation of a few things in regard to the school stipends, two lists of stuff we had to buy at Diagon Alley for our first year at Hogwarts, and the directions we had to keep track of for the precise day we had to leave for King’s Cross Station.

He was… hasty, literally leaving not even twenty minutes into meeting with us.

“How rude,” Tammy, now 11, had commented the moment he just paced away, excusing himself due to ‘important businesses’.

“Maybe he is busy for real. After all, war is upon us,” I remarked, causing the girl to give me a perplexed look. “You don’t think so?”

“Prime Minister Chamberlain said he signed the ‘Peace of Our Times’.”

“Well, we British people also said the Great War was the War to End All Wars, and yet half the world is getting hit by war left, right and center. I bet that git Hitler will start some mess in Poland,” I replied truthfully, Tammy merely nodding and… smiling.

“A school of magic. I wonder how it is… do you think there will be strong teachers?”

“Considering how things may be backwater compared to muggles’ standards? I bet it’s going to be lacking in lots of ways and compensated by old magic.”

She pouted. “You are ruining my fantasy, Zeke.”

“I am just giving you something honest to work with,” I hummed back, smiling as I walked up to her and gave her a big hug. “Despite anything coming our way, we will make it through as usual.”

“Stronger?”

“Better and Smarter,” I answered giddily, feeling her chin nuzzle on my shoulder.

And this is how I ended up unwittingly starting the career of the most successful Dark Lady in British History. Despite how bad this sounds, the story is bound to be a wackier one than many may expect with that title in mind…

—-----d-d-d-d—-----

AN

First Book’s Title? Ezekiel and Tammy Riddle in: Twin Snakes’ Rise. Or something cooler, I guess.

Still, I had to change a few things from the original suggestion, but I have a few reasons for that:
1) ‘Lucy Riddle’ feels a bit forced as a name. I can imagine Merope slurring the name of ‘Tom’ as she gave birth to Tammy and that’s the name she got- Tam ‘Tammy’ Riddle;
2) MC’s discovery that Tammy is Fem!TomRiddle happened before Dumbledore’s visit. Everyone knew the last name and considering the timing and location, it should be easy for a fan to recognize what is up.

3) Despite MC’s view that Tammy is an angel, he is going to notice a few secret traits about her now that there are other girls that may try to approach him. After all, Tammy’s late mom was a bit of a Yandere herself.