At the Gator's 5 (Patreon)

At the Gator’s 5 - or ‘I am Croc or Waylon, but no Killer’ (DC Comics/DCAU, Killer Croc!SI)

There is just something interesting when you are a bystander of a potential crime… but ending up helping with a call to the police didn’t feel like much.

At least, I wasn’t paying much attention to this as I had been focusing on helping Louise around rather than being an ‘active protector’ or something like that. It happened as I was out for an early morning trip to the grocery shop due to a ‘hurricane alert’ and I wanted all the stuff we needed to buy in case of surprises.

The shop was quite near one of the ‘protective barriers’ that had been built to withstand the disaster and… I happened to stumble on the sight of a bunch of men working for the Riddler moving bags towards the entrance to said walls.

They appeared through an inconspicuous truck, but they were all donning Riddler-themed uniforms that pretty much screamed of their allegiance to Edward Nygma.

Most citizens around noticed this too, but none acted to report it. Who did? I did. I mean, I was the one individual no one could suspect of snitching where I lived within Gotham, so a brief case of ‘preventing a city-wide disaster’ felt like a good thing to do.

The police were called and alerted, but I was already gone by the time they arrived. I got back at the pub and mentioned what happened to Pam and-

“What do you think the Riddler is up to this time around- actually no,” The plant girl hummed. “I think I can guess what it is and… it’s going to be a clowns’ show.”

And her ‘guess’ was right.

The police reached the place in time to stop the thugs from planting bombs all over the walls which would have caused an accident similar to the one that unfolded a year ago when the riddler did succeed in that.

It was roughly around the time Pam was out of the country, before she was turned into what she was now, and I had managed to avert the issue by being prepared for this very mess.

She was miffed to learn that Nygma had used some of her research for this, but she was actually relieved that the situation didn’t escalate too much and she was spared from scrutiny as the research had been ‘taken’ from her before this mess unfolded.

Now, nothing major unfolded after this. The Riddler got tracked down by Batman, and that was the end of it. Or… that should have been the end of it. I wouldn’t say the ensuing event was correlated to this random case of snitching, but the DC universe had a thing for the ‘Good deeds never go unpunished’ notion.

It was around nighttime. It’s been a few days since the averted crime had unfolded, and I was blissfully focusing on Louise’s effort to conjure some ice cubes for her drinks. The girls had found a way to get things done faster that way, plus it was cheaper for us and granted her some praise for the good job.

The noise of the bell at the door ringing and signaling a new client was followed by the loud silence that suddenly stole the pub. I blinked in surprise, with Louise shifting her gaze away first to find the source of this and she frowned. Rightfully so.

Batman was not the individual I expected to find this early on by ‘playing good’. He didn’t look there to cause trouble, but him sitting by the counter and seeking to speak for information sure triggered plenty of worries within me. At this point, the ‘War of Jokes and Riddles’ was still raging on- it was clear he wanted info on either side to stop it.

“I have nothing to tell you.”

My answer may come as a surprise, but my reasoning was simple: it wasn’t the kind of snitching you can get away with. Hell, Kite-man became a criminal because he tried to act as a mole in the Joker’s camp, with the Riddler killing his kid in retaliation.

“So you would be willing to-”

“Let countless civilians die to two deranged criminals that should be stopped?” I guessed flatly, interrupting the ‘Dark Knight’ on the spot. “It’s a shame, really, it is. But you are quite mistaken on how the world works, Batman. I am not a cop, I am not a criminal. I am a civilian. Most of the people there can proudly say that too despite some looking to be involved in serious activities. And no one here, smartly so, thinks that helping you will do much.”

“...Why?”

He tried to sound confident, but this was a Batman that had just begun his crusade against crimes. This was a Bruce Wayne that had yet to fully get hold of his bearings against some of the shit the city had to offer him.

“Let me paint a situation we all know is the same as always: petty criminals go to jail because of their crimes. The bigger fishes such as the Riddler and the Joker end up at Arkham where security is weak and evasion is quite high if you are some deranged madman that is lucid enough to make a run for it with a cunning plan,” I leaned closer. “Tell me, Bats, how long would the Joker last in prison with all the shit he caused to the innocents?”

Silence welcomed me, with the caped crusader merely frowning at my words.

“You want him dead.”

That was such a bold guess, and a correct one. Still, I refused to just let him have it as an admission over my allegiances in the current crime war.

“By a legal standpoint? No. I will not say that. But I think that giving the Joker the ‘you are insane so get an easier time to get back on the streets’ card is tantamount to just playing a game with him and others. And lives are killed because of it.”

“I am not the law,” He argued, but I scoffed.

“You definitely are not. If you were, you wouldn’t need a mask, you wouldn’t need to appear as a different person than you truly are. You wouldn’t be a ‘model for children’ to hate on the difference and expect the system to work. You know it does not. I can tell you know that much and… you know why?”

He leaned closer, and a whisper shook him apart.

“I can tell you are still angry, Bruce Wayne. Years of training and learning to endure did little to stop this drive of yours. You want Gotham sanated? Target the rotting elements within Gotham’s socialite. Stop being just a hero for your own morals, and be one for Gotham’s soul.”

I leaned back. “And that’s all I will tell you for now. I have other chores to attend.”

Sounds harsh, I get it. Even edgy if you look at it from a really neutral stance over the topic, but I was quite frustrated by what turned into ‘my’ own trouble. Gotham was such a good city due to some of its citizens.

Hell, many of the old-style criminals were good guys making what they could to get money running with how corrupt some of the businesses in the city were. I wouldn’t say this was a legal reason to not put them in jail, but a reason to actually kill off the real weed in the city.

Eventually Batman left, but the shaken frame of his stiff posture was a sight no one in the pub or in town had ever seen the Dark Knight look like. It was a shocker, and one that brought a degree of eyes on me. Some were awed by my words, some were stunned by how truthful I was and, I knew already, some were not truly ‘sold’ to this.

This last group believed Gotham had to be ‘cleansed’ tactically rather than strategically as they had grown with some heroic shit that, in the big picture, were barely helping with the situation.

Still, that night made the difference as many came to remember it when ‘Mr. Croc gave the Batman a dress down.’ That was an achievement I didn’t expect to be granted, but I didn’t think much of it anyway.

That was until someone got interested as a jealous boyfriend would about it. Him and his ‘lover’, that is.

—-------d-d-d-d—--------

AN

Next time… a Lemon! And a beatdown! Self-defense is still a thing, after all~!