Turtle Wave Rule 1 (Patreon)

Turtle Wave Rule - or ‘I am just a rowdy youngster that likes turtles (and can blast the moon with a single shot!)’ (Pre-Dragon Ball, Muten Roshi!SI)

“Hey, Shen.”

Annoyance was nothing new to the young disciple known as Shen, but today the main source of it, as far as I was aware of it, would die down for good with some good ol’ brohood.

“What?”

We were meditating in a small room- we had been caught bickering again. Or… that was what Master Mutaito saw.

In truth, I had just reasoned with the guy- what if the reason why we weren’t getting close to learning how to manipulate Ki was because the training was too ‘harsh’ on ourselves?

That had gotten the rule-stickler that was Shen to mald over my ‘blasphemy’, how what I was telling him was so heretical I should have been banished from the Training School.

Sadly for him, that got him in a very bad spot as Mutaito saw no reason to go through that loud rant for ‘speaking one’s mind’... ‘despite how stupid it was’. I know, I know, I shouldn’t expect traditional teachers in this world to just hurl away decades of training for a youth just by assuming how Ki worked but…

As a Self-insert that has been a diehard fan of Dragon Ball for roughly two decades, this was a bit difficult for me to just accept. I mean, how long did it take Master Roshi to get where he was at the beginning of Dragon Ball… when it was clear that training like this wasn’t going to enable some higher Ki understanding? It wasn’t even much of a question- rather an observation and one I was planning to see if I could super-beat that record.

And yes, that’s right- I am now the Kame Sennin, the Pervert Himself, Roshi… in his 20s!

It's the 450s, the world is still safe from King Piccolo’s reign of terror for another ten years, the villains around are just a handful and could be beaten by the cops and… yeah, that’s all I could mention at this point.

“So, about Fanfan-”

“What about her?” The sunglasses-wearing moron asked, a bit irked by the topic.

“I think I will not chase after her heart~.”

Yes, I know, what a shocking twist! Fanfan was the reason OG Roshi threw himself into training his butt off, but she was… well, mid. Like really mid. She was hot, she was graceful and cute but…

But the truth is that I saw no point in wasting my time with Shen.

He was such a prick already, but not the utter demented and senile old rival that would haunt me through competitions with no qualms in killing off issues and using underhanded tricks to get shit done his way.

He was still quite young, and I knew he could change for good- he just needed to have a counter to potential PTSD via King Piccolo Wars. Which was going to be Fanfan.

“You are lying. There is no way that you would just stop doing that, you perverted moron,” Shen rebuked, sounding as confused as angry in that instant. “Why would you even want to?”

“Just had a good power-nap, contemplated my situation and… truth be told, I think I may be unfit for her.”

And, if I may be honest, I ended up realizing in my lovely solo home that I owned as Roshi that I was… well, a very odd character- background-wise.

Baba was 200 years older than me, I didn’t know my parents but I knew of Baba. Which, truth be told, really perplexed me as there was no mention of those in my new home and Baba was out for business to actually answer my questions.

“What?! A-Are you joking? Is this a trick? Are you trying to get me to do something stupid and-?!”

“Nope~!” I replied. “I am quite serious about this. She deserves someone better than me. Someone that cares, that will treat her right and… I want to ask now, do you think you fit in that role?”

His lips morphed from a perplexed scowl to a surprised one. “You- What are you even saying?! Of course I would treat her right.”

“...”

“I… would,” Shen remarked weakly. “I mean, it can’t be that tough. You are not chasing after her-”

“And other members of the town are as she is a beautiful woman. Which makes your chance to get her to fancy you quite slim if you play the stiff and cocky dum-dum.”

“I-I am not like that. I can be a tender lover!”

“Wanna bet?”

“Yes!”

“Ten Zeni, I am right.”

“Deal!”

That was easy money and it put the bastard in a good mood and a good path to be a better person. No Shen was literally crippling any chance to have a toxic rival to deal with. Plus, it made killing his brother easier the moment that became a reasonable option.

But for now, I had two things to focus on: getting stronger and finding ways to make the Kame Sennin’s legend… even more legendary!

There was no way I was going to lose some of that laidback and charming personality Roshi had at this point and I knew for a thing that he could be smooth if he wasn’t an utter pervert around others.

Plus, I had to fill up some of that free time I had before real shit kicked in. That and also find a way to legit immortality. Not the Dragon Balls’ wish kind of immortality, but legit being able to not die by old age.  So… maybe something about the Paradise Herb if I managed to find where the Forest of Terror was.

Invincibility was not just worth it as I wanted to fight too and… I had plans to get strong enough to face all sorts of issues. Starting with the fact I needed to get my Ki Mastery and the discovery of the Kamehameha done fast and early.

The former was a bit simpler than it looked. I had plenty of time and some of the precepts of the Training School did address some refined ways similar to how Gohan taught Videl. But with no genuine expert on proper manipulation beyond the ever-busy Mutaito, that endeavor was still going to take time.

Likewise, the Kamehameha’s development was tied to Ki-control. The moment I was going to be able to manipulate the energy to an acceptable degree, I was going to work on creating the technique. But for now I just had a visive idea through memory.

Which was not as good as I needed it to be to put it into action.

…Patience was the virtue of the mighty, but I was already feeling a bit of a pain in the butt at that notion.

So, I started my journey to become the greatest but lovable bastard this show had to offer. What I didn’t know as I smoothly trained to become the greatest was… that Earth was far bigger than the show was keen to reveal.

I didn’t have a clue of this as I spent a single big year mastering my ki control and getting to a wonderful level of manipulation. It was enough that Master Mutaito himself just gave me ‘tough stuff’ which most students saw as absurd to understand, while the older ones looked awed by the few resolved tasks I accomplished.

Holding numerous heavy bags of sand all at once without breaking from my standing meditative posture, breaking three walls of pure concrete, and shifting petals within a pond to all form a circle at the center of the pond itself.

By the end of that year, I asked Mutaito for permission to go on a training trip that the old man was keen to accept and help me find the destination I was looking for- Korin’s Tower. First, to train with the cat and then meet the previous Kami and hopefully stop the birth of King Piccolo.

Then again this is pre-DBZ, so I shouldn’t have been surprised at the notion that some mystical BS is a common thing in this ‘ancient times’ as I would soon be reminded but… I am a dum-dum, what do you want from me~?

—---------d-d-d-d—--------

AN

The Kame Sennin, the Master of Perverts that only wants the booty and the boobies. Time to elevate the figure while also securing the best ending possible for a ‘moderate Pervert’ like the SI inhabiting his body.