Love to Feel Loved (Patreon)

While their relationship was still blossoming, Abbi had noticed something of a concerning trend.

In the first month they had been together, her new partner treated her to dinner almost every night. No expense was ever spared as the two dined at some of the finest establishments around the city. And always Abbi’s pick. 

Italian one night, sushi the next. It was always whatever she was in the mood for. Takeout from a highly reviewed Indian ghost kitchen on Wednesday, down-home Carolina BBQ Thursday, as they’d eye the grand opening of a new French place on their way back to the train. Even a few out of the way places Abbi’d never dream of trying out on her own, given the distance, time commitment, or cost. Her partner was more than happy to facilitate. All with very few repeats. In fact, the few places the two ventured back for a second trip, like the Korean chicken place, were solely upon Abbi’s insistence, based upon how great their initial meal was & her desperately craving more. And in the very rare instances of their intended dining experience ending up a complete bust, the ubiquity of fast food chains made sure they never went hungry. Sitting there in booths, woefully overdressed for the occasion, they’d just laugh & share each others‘ fries.

Her partner seemed absolutely desperate to please her, spoil her, give her whatever it was that she wanted. All of which felt very new for a somewhat reticent Abbi. 

After how many rough years she experienced up to this point, someone even just putting in the effort for her affection was certainly a welcome change of pace. She relished every second of their time together. Never in her life had she ever felt so truly loved. And she absolutely loved that feeling, the simple validation that she was deserving of love. Hell, even just the attention, as much as it made her blush. But a few weeks in, her hypervigilance started to rear its ugly head. 

The longer it went on, the more their gastronomic tour of the greater metropolitan area started to catch up with her & take its toll. And eating out was one thing. But consistently leaving the restaurant stuffed to the gills was another. It wasn’t simply the eating, but the overeating. Her partner always wanted her to have everything she ever wanted, even when it often proved to be a little too much. And it started to show. 

She maintained a bit of willful denial at first, when things began to not fit in the way they had before. Until that day she popped a seam on her one pencil skirt. Even then though, she actually liked the added bit of thickness. Bigger boobs, wider hips, rounder ass. She liked the curves. But the thought of having to update her entire wardrobe if things kept up seemed incredibly daunting. She tried upping the amount of cardio she did but it wasn’t of much use & the last thing she wanted to do was look at a scale. She slowly continued to soften up all the more, & that added chub began to weigh on more than just her frame.

All the while, the onslaught of fabulous meals only ensued, night after night. Without pause. Abbi began trying to steer them towards healthier options, but she’d inevitably still pig out & leave feeling impossibly full, as if she had lost self-control. To her, the only fortunate part seemed to be the lack of judgment on her partner’s part. In fact? Strangely? If anything, they only got handsier as time went on.

They were at that really overrated, up-its-own-ass gastropub Calico the night Abbi finally put two & two together. With the fears of her own widening figure ricocheting around in her head, certain things her partner said & did really started to stand out to Abby. In a red flag sort of way. Weird quirks, that had always come off as a wee bit pushy. But in a way that she had always ever just chalked to be part of an innocuous people-pleasing manner. Now they began setting off alarm bells. 

The subtle confidence of “You’re not going to break the bank, get the large portion if you want the large!”

The genuinely concern displayed with the ”Sure you’ve got enough there?” after she opted for the small anyway.

The wry smile that accompanied the “I won’t tell anybody if you want to do double dessert,” followed by the “Bring one home for later,” stated in a tone as if it were already a foregone conclusion as a finger went up to call over the waitstaff.

That’s when it all just clicked. 

”It’s wherever you want, Abs. You pick! You deserve to be happy!”

Abbi had been so utterly enamored with the notion of someone finally giving a shit for once, she had been completely blind to it. And now, she was left shellshocked the moment it hit her, just how overt & immediately obvious it all had been from the very start.

Dining out for weeks on end, feeding her all of this delicious, & sometimes incredibly expensive food seemed to all just part of some ploy. Some sick ulterior motive. Her partner knew damn well what they were doing. And all the while, Abbi had been too wrapped up in enjoying all the positive attention to even realize it or ever push back. Hell, she had let it go on so long at this point, unaddressed, they probably assumed she was onboard with what was happening to her.   

She suddenly went from feeling quite full to queasy, & had to cut their night together short in quite an abrupt fashion. Much shorter than they had originally planned, to her partner’s seemingly genuine concern as they offered to see her home. But in that moment, Abbi couldn’t be around them. Or anyone for that matter.

On her train ride back to her place, Abbi’s thoughts continued to race as she suppressed both her tears & an upset stomach. Part of her felt tricked. Used. She kept kicking herself, thinking back to each & every one of their prior nights out for dinner together. Or the occasional weekend brunch. Looking at the pushy food-related things her partner would say with a fresh pair of eyes, it was all there, all along, from the start. Never telling her “no,” always encouraging her to eat until she was practically ready to explode. Kind of like this very moment.

But upon reflection, as much as she wanted to cast the entirety of the blame onto them, try to call out their behavior as deceptive or manipulative, she slowly started to realize that she really couldn’t fault them all that much.

Beyond initially guffawing, she remembered their very first date, & them outright telling her, in pretty explicit terms, how they preferred women that “liked to eat.” At the time, Abbi remembered laughing it off, thinking they only said it to assuage any fear she may have had of going a little overboard. Having grown to know them better & reading their expressions when it comes to these sorts of things, she realized the true sincerity of their statement at the time. Her partner wasn’t just blowing smoke, they were simply just being forthright with her.  

Oh god. 

Abbi replayed how everything fell into place after that. She realized how she was the one that jokingly used their preference of “women that liked to eat” as leverage, pointing their second dinner date to some place a little fancier. Which then led to a third. Then a fourth. Thinking back now with clarity, their nights on the town grew out of her initially trying to test this new flame; their wallet, their time, their commitment & willingness. She set the tone, throwing out new & sometimes pricier places only to see if she’d ever be met with a “no.” And while her partner was simply being gleeful to always oblige her. Trying to look at it from their perspective, if anything, it must’ve seemed like she was using them! 

At the end of the day, her partner never came right out & said the words “I desperately want to fatten you up like a prized hog” to Abbi. But they had also never tried to trick her into doing anything she didn’t want to do! Going around town, & getting her fill of delicious meals? That had all been entirely at her behest. 

Enabling behavior? Sure! One hundred percent, without a doubt. But Abbi maintained her agency throughout. She always could’ve been the one to simply say “no.” And she never did. Hell, she was the one lining up which place to try next! Because as it turned out, she really seemed to like being enabled. Maybe a little too much. Whereas her partner loved to watch her eat, she equally appreciated all of the attention that numbed her to all this in the first place. 

For the first time ever, Abbi was made to feel like the center of someone else’s world. And she loved that feeling! Almost as much as she had, up till that point, without saying as much, loved her partner. That feeling of being loved so deeply that she was being spoiled? Knowing that no matter what, her partner would try to bend over backwards & do whatever they could to try & placate her? That someone out there was that concerned with her happiness? After everything she’d ever been through, it was the most anyone had ever done to make her feel as though she truly mattered.

A tear finally rolled down her soft cheek & fell with a soft tap upon the packaged up slice of cherry cheesecake she hadn’t even realized she had still been holding onto this whole time. Her second dessert parting gift to take home. The one that was ordered & that she never bothered to cancel despite already feeling ready to burst. 

Abbi sighed a soft sigh as the train neared her station. That night she had some thinking to do.

Two months later, a significantly chubbier Abbi eases herself up off what had been a somewhat narrow stool. Her & her partner are finishing up after their first Valentine’s meal together, revisiting the same place they had gone to on their first date.

Abbi lets out a soft moan as she bites her lip. Gravity shifts a few things around within her full, protruding potbelly as she stands. In the ensuing weeks, Abbi’s weight had really started to climb. Her thick, plump curves had graduated firmly into full on fatness. Weight she tries & often succeeds at carrying well. At least when things aren’t exacerbated by an immensely packed tummy, given how much she has just eaten. It sticks out, taut & unwieldy, as if she’s pregnant.

Secretly, a small, still self-conscious part of her hopes none of the waitstaff recognize her from their first visit. That no one’s able to discern how much she’s changed in the span of only a few months. As if the large three course meal she had licked the plates clean on wasn’t already enough to earn a few errant glances. It certainly caught her partner’s, as she locks eyes to catch them staring.

“I so feel like I’m about to burst,” She happily puckers with a winded strain. Her partner’s cheeks redden as the statement has its desired effects. In more of a hushed tone, just barely over the din of the holiday dinner service, she vocalizes her inner monologue, laying what had been real concerns bare, but used solely as a means to further drive her partner wild. “Hope I- didn’t- look like too much of a pig- eatin’ all that.” Her bright red partner stammers.

“What?! No way!” An obvious lie. “And even if you did,” a sentence fragment that did very little to dull any of Abbi’s very real concerns. “Who cares? So long as you enjoyed it, right? It’s all about you!” They push in their stool, only to follow up. “You did enjoy it though?” Abby once again bites her plump lower lip. 

“Hun,“ she chortled huskily, as if it all should’ve been very obvious. “I’m practically popping the seams of this dress I ate so much!” Which truth be told, was very true, & a bit concerning, considering it was a brand new dress, bought for this very occasion. The way she was already busting out of it didn’t bode all that well for it ever making a return. At least not in the foreseeable future. But it was Valentine’s day, & she knew just what else to say to make her partner happy, even if she did play it off more as a joke. “Any more & you’d have to roll me out of here!” 

Her partner lacked a poker face. A wild flutter suddenly struck their eyes at the very idea. One they immediately tried to downplay, or maybe even turn around back on her, attempting to call her bluff. 

“I mean we could always get a to-go bag if you’re saying you still wan-“

“No!” Abbi interrupted to assure them. “God no! I’m absolutely stuffed.” She laughed, cradling her foodbaby like an expectant mother. What shocked her is just how tempting the proposition sounded. Despite how full she was, a small part of her felt like it could keep going. A product of how their continued dinner dates seemed to increase her overall capacity for food. If anything, she was more worried about her longevity of her dress, her own modesty, & the lack of self-control she’d have to devour anything else before they got back behind closed doors. Still, she didn’t want to rule out that very prospect for any subsequent future visits. “But- um- perhaps- maybe like- next time though?” She wondered barely aloud, sheepishly. Her partner snickered.

“Anything I can do to make you happy, Beautiful!” 

Abbi smiled a warm smile. The funny part about that sentiment was how it echoed her own conclusion, that night coming home alone on the train. Ultimately, Abbi realized that there was a person out there that loved her, & would move mountains to make her feel loved. And as someone who loved to feel loved? She saw it as only fair to reciprocate. Even if it meant swelling like a tick for them.

As the couple slowly began to make their way towards the coat check, things in the packed restaurant were a little tight to maneuver. She noticed some of the odd glances she was getting, swaying her wide hips & sporting such a ponderous paunch. Embracing all of this fully was still a bit of a struggle at times. But whenever things were ever feeling awkward or a little uncomfortable, she would only just remind herself that she was doing this for just one person. And if embracing their desires to feed her, to watch her eat & grow like this was what she needed to do to? To make the person she intended to marry as happy as they made her? Then so be it! They gave her all the confidence she ever needed.

As her partner helped Abbi with her cult, they leaned into her ear.

“Are you sure there’s nothing else we can get you?” Their tone grew gravelly. “Before we get you home, peel that dress off of you, & I do a bit of eating? If you catch my drift.”

“Fuck it,” Abbi resigned, blushing. Straining dress be damned! She did everything she could to keep from giving in, but then again it’s a holiday. Just this once. For them! “I know it’s February, but you know what I could really go for? A sundae, but one of the ones with like the warmed chocolate syrup?”

Her partner flashed a wry smile. 

“I know a place. Short walk.”

“I fucking love you.” Abbi winced gleefully.

|||

After posting the WIP for Valentine’s proper (or at least a half hour after my time), I decided to take my time with the rest of this. Tried once again to do some of the more time consuming techniques I tried with that other piece from a few months ago. Marking AI for the background.

Again, the vignette might be a little more sappy than straight up erotic. But also, & let me know if not, but I once again wanted to find a nice happy medium of someone not expressly looking to gain weight coming to find solace with the idea of having a partner that would like them to & not have it be coercive or forced. And I don’t know if the story suffers from it, but I once again tried to make the partner an analogue for any prospective reader regardless of how they identify or anything.

As much as I like doing variants, I’m happy to post something brand new again too. More new stuff very soon!