double dealings anniversary retrospective (Patreon)

It's been a whole year since Double Dealings was completed! I've been wanting to look back on it and give some insight into the development and my personal relationship with it, it's gonna be a lot and might get too sappy/sad but I hope you enjoy!

The theming was meant to be brains or heart. I still don't really understand what a story with brains would entail, I assume something smart or clever or trippy, but I'm not that sort of person I can't really come up with a deep big great story, I prefer small personal stuff, which you can probably tell since most of my personal work tend to be small vignettes of slice of life. I enjoy a good action/fiction story like everyone else, but I always feel some sort of disconnect since I know I'd probably (and hopefully lol) never have this cool fights or get involved into that sort of stuff, I prefer to write about my experiences, so something more grounded clicks better with me, regardless of the setting and context being fantastical and clearly detached from reality.

I'll be discussing things divided by chapters, starting with the first one!

Chapter 1 was a bit more rushed than I'd have liked to! There was a lot of real life stuff going on (I will talk more about that in Chapter 4 since it's more relevant there) that had me missing my first self imposed deadline, but what matters is that I was able to power through and still commit to it.

The structure of the chapter itself was pretty easy to come up with, especially the beginning with the 2 guys digging in the caves, it was some scene that I've though of as an interesting way to begin a story for ages, originally meant for other characters and circumstances, but worked well enough here lol.

It was also really funny and interesting to see people's reactions to Krea's actual personality, much meaner than most people thought! I thought I had already hinted at it through some other pieces, but I guess her being portrayed in a much nicer light is more common lol, but I should change that and reflect her personality more accurately

Chapter 2 was probably the roughest and most rushed, I was going through finals week! I think I had to do all the inking coloring and typing in a weekend.... 

Due to that my only true regret is not being able to incorporate more scenary/crowd shots, Krea walked a good distance so I wanted to show that plus small snipets of the world she lives in, but perhaps if there were more scenes like that it'd have dragged on for too long, won't ever know unless I go back to extend it lol. In that same vein if more scene panels were included I'd have liked to show Don hiding in the background much more as well, he only shows up in 2! 

Like I've said before I like writing from my own experiences, Krea's backstory is kiiinda not really based on it, but more like my thoughts as a kid rather than actual events lol. As a child I didn't grow with a loooot of money, we weren't poor or anything but lack of money was something common to hear of from my parents, so naturally I'd think that it was partially my fault for being there or have the need to want to work just to ease things up for them, so I decided to include that aspect of myself in her. Sometimes it feels like she's me if I had gone through a different path lol

Chapter 3 had a much smoother sailing, the semester had ended so for the first time I could take the time to make things much more presentable, overall I think it was the most enjoyable chapter to make! It leaned more on the fun side of things with Krea and Prea's banter rather than more sappy things.

One thing that I find really funny was that surprisingly quite a few people thought I was implying that their parents were dead and Prea was just delusional or things like that due to her constant mention of them at the beginning, but truth to be told I just had no idea how they looked like back then lol. They're not there just because I hadn't made designs for em! Besides, this was just meant to be a story about the sisters and not the family as a whole, if I had included them they wouldn't really contribute in any way aside from just being there.

Since then I've finally drawn them, so here they are!

                       The doodles of the Doko like girl are completely unrelated lol

One thing I'd have liked to do better was the ending where Don shows up, it felt like it came out of nowhere. Originally it was supposed to connect better with chapter 2, in said cut segments where he'd have been shown hiding in the background chasing Krea he was meant to progressively change his outfit to the one seen in the 3rd chapter, so he wouldn't be recognized by her. I tried to imply at that by including him in one of the last panels of chapter 2, but I think it was too vague of a drawing to actually make the connection lol.

I thought drawing and coloring his hair in chapter 2 would be enough to imply it was him but clearly that wasn't the case lol

 Chapter 4 was a rougher one in contrast! While the first half was still pretty fun to draw and write, the dusk/night time scenes weren't. Things are about to get much more personal here so bear with me a little lol. 

The life problems I mentioned back in chapter 1 was my dog's passing, I grew up with him so it really took a toll on me, thankfully making the comic was a good distraction from all that, but said event still sneaked it's way into the comic in a multitude of ways.  One of them Krea's appearance herself! She used to be human up until this comic, but shortly after my dog's death I happened to see old drawings I'd make of him as a kid alongside my oldest OCs, hell if it wasn't for him I probably wouldn't have given Krea a dog like appearance before the comic at all lol, so as a nod to him I committed to fully making her an animal. Friends who are heavy into furry characters thought they had an influence in the change, but they couldn't be further from the truth lol.

Another issue I had with the structure of the story at the start is that I knew that it'd end with some sorts of gift exchange, but I had no clue about what said gift should be, a few days after my dog's passing I found his collar, (sometimes he'd remove it on his own and we'd have no clue where it ended up at lol) and in a way it kinda felt like a parting gift from his part? Something tangible to remember him by, thus leading to Krea giving her collar to Prea in chapter 2.

And lastly was the blue section at the very end of the story! It probably was the most direct portrayal of my feelings with all that going on, especially the godbye scene. When it was time to part ways with my pet I just had no words to say, so it was reflected on Krea just launching herself to hug Prea. 

This line in specific was also a direct portrayal of my feelings, I felt like I had to include it because otherwise I wouldn't be very honest with my work. But that's enough sappy stuff! Now back to more interesting tidbits and scrapped ideas lol.

Prea mentions some photo being inside the charm, similar to the one she ends up having, originally I meant to show off the photo, which was meant to be a family portrait similar to the one shown in the sketchbook page in the top left corner from earlier but again, I had no designs set for the parents so it was cut, I wish I had prepared better for that....

The ending was also slightly different, being sliiighlty shorter:

I really liked the last panel and wanted to still include it in the final version! But that meant having to design part of her room and I had no time for that lol.... I think having Krea and Prea's photo being the last panel was a better choice anyways, I think it has more impact than just showing it for one tiny panel, it means a lot for both so it should take the spotlight.

And that's all for my thoughts on each chapter! For the whole comic as a whole I can still look back very fondly on it regardless all the things that were happening through its creation. 

The reception it got and the fact that people keep asking if there's gonna be a continuation makes me happy beyond belief, especially considering that again it was something very personal. It makes me feel like my characters don't just live in my head anymore, they're in other people's heads and they wonder what else is going to happen to them makes me so happy and makes me want to be able to do more of them for all of you to hopefully enjoy.

Something I see people talk about when doing their first comics or projects or so is not being able to look back at them without cringing or feeling embarrassed, I don't think I'll ever go through that with this story because of how personal it is, I don't think honesty is something to be ashamed of. It's tough to be vulnerable with your emotions, but I think the best works have to be honest and true to the authors! 

But I think that's about all I have to say for this, I wanted to get this done much earlier but writing isn't my forte and finding a way to make this comprehensible and not a complete downer was tough.... If you read all of this though you have my biggest thanks! I hope you can find it interesting or insightful in some ways, even if it's not the most conventional "behind the scenes" look at the work process lol

Thank you all for your support as always!!