Deleting the past (Patreon)

I just left the shortest most intense relationship of my life. I’m sharing some screenshots of photos from the past that I was deleting and archiving over the past few days. He didn’t want me sharing my body or being naked anymore in front of anyone but him. This was so hard. It has been my life. I have spent years working to overcome shame and somehow all I felt with this person was shame. My past broke into our present. He kept finding things online that weren’t ok or appropriate to him and I would have to delete them. I was using this time in isolation to try to learn the lessons here, to work on my art and deleting and organizing the past, which I’m not always so good at. I’m just sharing some screenshots I had taken as I was deleting old memories from my iPhone. I shared some of these images with him and was going to ask him if some of them were ok to post. Then I thought to myself, “who have I become?” Why do I need to ask someone permission to live my life? I tried to follow his rules and guidelines out of fear and change. So much has happened this month and it felt too overwhelming. I left last night. It was so hard. I’ve never left like this. I feel so sad. I feel so bad. But I’m starting to feel free again. It’s so hard to love someone who is hurting you. What is it called? Stockholm syndrome?