strange times (Patreon)

I want so many things and yet nothing at all. I’m so happy that Gemini season is coming to a close. To exist in such an unprecedented time, or rather in any time at all, is so confusing. Although the world is changing to a great degree, although we are on the precipice of a new age, I still feel the same as always, perhaps more hopeful overall. Some moments are filled with ecstasy, some with apathy, rage, depression, anxiety, calm, confusion. It depends on the day. Every day is filled with magic. At least I can still make things, and do things, and spend time with those I love while forever questioning the meaning of that word. As time passes in this life, various humans and words have helped to give meaning to my life. Some of them I try to memorize, ones that particularly stick out to me, or resonate with my current state of being. The Guest House by Rumi is a current focus:

This being human is a guest house.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,

some momentary awareness comes

as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,

who violently sweep your house

empty of its furniture,

still treat each guest honorably. 

He may be clearing you out

for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, 

the malice, meet them at the door 

laughing and invite them in. 

Be grateful for whoever comes,

because each has been sent

as a guide from beyond.

These images are self-portraits taken upon my waking one morning, in my studio in Denver, Colorado, in the beginning of 2018, just over two years ago. I had a starfruit. I had also just finished my first mala. I felt good, or as good as I could at that time.