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Space Bunnies (Patreon)

Published:
2015-03-12 02:46:15
Imported:

Content

I've been practicing writing novel-type stories for the past few months, just grabbing snatches of spare time in the evenings and putting together a little story in these pieces. Mostly it involves writing, and then rewriting, and then re-rewriting everything over and over, and keeping copious notes as things unfold in your mind. Those of you who are familiar with the pictures I've done of bunnies in power armor, may have heard I've been working on this little outer space universe. So far, I've got seven brisk chapters, and even larger chapters are in progress or being edited. I'm kind of reluctant to share them because there may still be some editing to do, and things may change. I also don't know at what pace I can produce new material. It tends to vary. But, as patrons, I'm going to share these with you, and let you see the PDFs of the material so far. I'm not necessarily looking for compliments on this. I'm basically using this as a way to "learn" about the process of writing text-only stories, which is something I don't have much experience with. But, if enough people show interest, I'll keep sharing chapters as I finish writing (and rewriting, and rererererewriting them). And yes, I'm aware I misspelled the file name for the chapter titled "Cat Politics" after I uploaded it. http://jaynaylor.com/01AnUnfortunateFind.pdf http://jaynaylor.com/02TheAllianceUplift.pdf http://jaynaylor.com/03Unrequited.pdf http://jaynaylor.com/04VaskarStation.pdf http://jaynaylor.com/05CatPoliticis.pdf http://jaynaylor.com/06ArrivalsandDepart.pdf http://jaynaylor.com/07thechannels.pdf

Comments

RighteousCucumber

So... this projects dead? Too bad, I'd like to see more.

Bigweld

I'm totally going to look over these! I'm an amateur writer at best, but even the story lines I've seen you use for some of your comics seem good so I'll have to check these out.

OldTiger

Ride a VERY close herd on your spell-checker. I've read so many excellent stories by new authors that were marred by easily-caught mistakes that detracted from the reader's flow--kinda like walking through a beautiful park and badly stubbing your toe on a root about 50 feet...damned irritating and takes away some of the beauty of the experience. But you probably knew that. In any case, I look forward to your new genre as I sorely miss your "short stories" as it were in "Original Life." Bottom Line: invest (or get someone to donate their time) in an editor if you're going to turn this into something that generates a well-deserved return.

Leo G.

Oooh, more writey-type things. !yay! I'm not an author by any stretch, but I am a fairly competent technical editor if you'd like the help. I already do a bunch of it for my friends who have written some rather prolific stuff.

Anonymous

The only advice I can give is that you need to try to show more than tell. Right now your first chapter feels like a skeleton of what it could be. It needs some passion and umph behind it. Instead of just saying "Two ships floated in space" try to show us the ships floating in space. "The metal frame swirled silently in circles as the Starhopper clung to it. The lifeless Venture barely stood out against the black backdrop of space as it lie there dead." If you really want to get good at writing, find a mentor. someone who will yell at you when you do things wrong. And ALWAYS accept criticism. A writer who can't take criticism is just pretending to be good. A writer who takes criticism aspires to be good.

Raventail

This reads well, even in its early form. Eagerly waiting to read more of it.

Anonymous

Just finished the the last one. I enjoyed them greatly! They left me wanting more. The dialogue was smooth, and imagery clear. The ending of the 7th one caught me by surprise! I admire your diverse, creative, and oft-executed potential! Editing always takes so long! I always get a kick (read: am somewhat annoyed but appreciative of) at how random lines from throughout a story run through my head all day after I've edited a long piece; you read it so many times! Good luck. Thank you for sharing it with us!

jaynaylor
>>387955

It was actually a conscious choice of style to not muddle the descriptions up with over flowery language. I'm rarely impressed when I run into this in stories. Analogies should be necessary, not arbitrary. I also disagree with the use of such motion-heavy and actiony words as "swirled" and "clung" to a scene of just two ships in space.

feitochan

The editing never ends. Eventually you just get to a point where you're tired of dealing with it and toss it out into the winds. Or at least that's been my experience.

zeel

I anxiously await more, the story is quite compelling. On the technical side, the writing definitely improves in later chapters.

OldTiger

Just finished all the installments--seems like you hit your stride after the first episode (and the first one wasn't bad either). Enjoyable reading and, most importantly, leaves the reader wanting more.