No Nut November 4/4 - Deep Jungle Nymphs (Patreon)

"Careful, all of you. One step off the path could spell disaster."

All eight volunteer researchers consciously shuffled closer to the middle of the beaten path through the jungle. The air was sweet and humid, and the treeline buzzed around them. Their guide laughed and hacked a length of greenery out of the way with her machete.

"Don't worry, if you're smart, you'll be fine. And you don't get shipped out here if you're not smart, right? That's what this research outpost is for."

There was scattered laughter.

"No, there's no man-eating tigers or spiders the size of your head. You're not gonna get eaten by a snake as big as a train or a colony of ants that could strip a cruise liner to its scaffolds in seconds. None of that here. This place is a paradise. Even if you get turned around, the berries are all edible and the water is pure as a nun's panties."

A long pause filled the warm air before one of the volunteer researchers spoke up.

"Then, um... what would be the issue? The- uh- danger, I mean."

Grinning, the guide took a glance over her shoulder as a large butterfly landed on her ear.

"Deep jungle nymphs." She paused to let the concept sink in, then continued. "It may sound crazy, but it's all true. The folks around here tell stories about 'em. You can tell when you see 'em, because they're gorgeous, and covered in sweet-smelling little flowers, and they move through the jungle like the cries of the birds. Watch your step!"

Another volunteer squeaked as she nearly tripped on a thick cluster of vines, blooming with red rosettes. She was a flurry of hands as her fellow researchers hurried to help her up, before the guide continued walking, notching a tree trunk with her blade.

"They approach you all sweet, knowing that it can get real lonely out in the wild. They know a set of curves can send a lost explorer up the wall. So they lure you in, and draw you to these big plant bulbs - and then they GETCHA!"

The volunteers collapsed into a pile as the one at the front jumped, stopping dead in surprise. Cackling, the guide rested against a nearby boulder, marking it with her claws as she spoke and watched the pile-up untangle itself.

"Not a lot of people know what goes on in there, but there's a lot of speculation goin' about. From what we guess, they fill you up with all these plant chemicals to turn you into one of 'em. And to make it even more effective, they gotta get your blood pumping. The nymphs are real frisky, and you know why...?"

Breath baited, the researchers looked up at her with wide eyes.

"Because they edge... and edge... and edge."

A hand went up.

"S'when you get reeeeal close to the climax, then just stop. No relief. No satisfaction. Nada."

The hand went down.

"So the bulbs get them so desperate for any li'l touch that they seek poor lost travellers out - and then the travellers become nymphs too. Or somethin'. We're still not sure, entirely. But we also think that inside those plant bulbs, they get dusted all over with plant pollen to cover 'em with those flowers that let off the intoxicating smell."

"Wouldn't that...?"

"Huh?" She looked over at the curious researcher, who quickly hid his face. "No, no. Don't be shy, ask away."

"Wouldn't that tickle?"

The guide whistled, and in the trees, something whistled back. "Well, I'm sure it would, oh boy, it must. They'd scrub it all over your body and make sure it was really rubbed in. I'd guess that it'd tickle like nothing else. It might even itch. Imagine that - just hours of ticklin' and edgin' without release."

The group shivered. Burying her machete in a stump, the guide surveyed the area.

"Alright, this is the area where the fungus you're studying is." Counting heads, she nodded and shrugged off her pack. "Since there's an odd number of ya, let's get into groups of two, and one of you can pair up with me."

Murmuring in agreement, the researchers began setting out their equipment and ignored the soft singing mumble of the trees, and the sickly-sweet scent wafting through the air.