Guest Lecture 2: The Marellions 🐴 (Patreon)

Welcome back everyone! Before we begin I have a slight announcement to make. Uh … Mogu, your Bonemobile is illegally parked and about to be towed. Now this week's lecture will be about Vyatkaloosa's most prominent species, the Marellions.

Biology

Since the Marellions live mainly on Vyatkaloosa's many large plains, they run from one city to another quite frequently, which accounts for their sleek and toned physique. In all the time I've studied them I've never seen a fat one, I've also never seen one under the age of 18...I haven’t seen any species under the age of 18 now that I think about it. Wait. I can’t remember anything before my 18th birthday. Why can’t I remember before then? What’s going on? It’s the 8th Branch! What? … What was I talking about? 

Oh right. They walk on their hind legs unless they feel they must flee, at which point they curl their hands into fists and run on all fours using the hoofs on their knuckles - which can deal a good punch if they think they can win. Marellion brains are actually thought to be quite small, due to their almost immediate trust in new people they come across, and their belief that their tight fit clothes somehow hide their... impressive physiques. Hrmm. Marellion male genitalia we have found cannot be measured with standard rulers, since their smallest recorded length is 15 inches, so yard sticks have been used to accurately record all measurements. Fun fact about male Marellions: as a way of population control, their bodies, despite their massive members, only produce about 2 drops of ejaculate per orgasm…

Yes, Major Molina, they are capable of the cleanest bukkakes in the universe … … … so I’ve been told...

Now while female Marellions breast only average a small c-cup, their vaginal areas have been compared to "being in da butt, mout, and da puddy all at oncth" by Space Corps Physiologist Harland Tweety. That guy knows his stuff. Wrote a bunch of books about all his research. Do NOT buy the audio books though… unless you need wildlife repellent or to torture someone.

Society

The Marellions are a peaceful and helpful species, consistently working hand and whip with the Equinox to build their cities and make repairs to any Equinox technology that doesn't require too much brain power. More on the Equinox next lecture. The Marellions seem to trust implicitly unless physically assaulted by an individual 20 times... Yes, Major Alex, explicit research has been done. No, Major Alex - there are multiple definitions of explicit... There are cities across Vyatkaloosa which are entirely run by Marellions, so they were able to function as a society before their cooperation with the Equinox. 

Citizenship

The Marellions have been spread throughout the lower Space Corps ranks all over the universe, proving useful as infantry, courtesans, and janitorial staff. Chances are you were wet nursed by a Marellion female at some point in your infancy. There is no telling how different Space Corps would be now without them!... Actually, it would probably be the same, it would just take more convincing to get something done. Please ask any questions below, and next week we will learn all about the entirely male race... the Equinox. 

Dismissed.

<<Pulls out phone and dials number>> Yes, I'd like to order a Marellion female for my quarters...mmhmm...sure I'll take a male too, I'm in a mood. Got any gingers?