GAG SCRIPT #2 – MAX LEARNS A LIFE LESSON (Patreon)

Panel 1: The comic opens with Lucia and Max sitting on the stoop out front of their crummy apartment. She’s kinda nervous as she looks at her brother, like she’s about to say something she doesn’t really know how to say. Max looks distraught, waving his arms in the air.

LUCIA: Max, I think it’s time I, uh, told you about the birds and bees.

MAX: How are we going to sail the seven seas!?

LUCIA: What? I said birds and bees.

MAX: We don’t have a boat!

Panel 2: Lucia’s looking away from Max, scratching her head as she fumbles out some words. We can’t see Max.

LUCIA: Just…listen.

LUCIA: When two people love each other…

LUCIA: Well, sometimes more, like five or six…

LUCIA: Crap…

MAX: I wanna see puffers.

Panel 3: Max is front and center of this panel, wearing a sailors’ uniform and standing proudly with his fists against his hips. Lucia’s yelling at him, wondering where the heck he got the uniform from.

MAX: Captain Max!

LUCIA: We ain’t goin’ sailing, Max! You don’t even know how to swim!

LUCIA: And where’d you get that suit?

Panel 4: Trying to stabilize this already awkward situation, Lucia sits Max back down on the stoop and puts her hands on his shoulders. She’s talking very seriously to him but he’s just cocking his brow and tilting his head to the side.

LUCIA: Max. Birds and bees.

MAX: Seven seas.

LUCIA: This is important.

MAX: We need a boat.

LUCIA: You need to focus. When two people love each other—

Panel 5: Lucia’s given up on teaching Max and is facepalming because the boy is hunched over and growling like a wolf as he angrily searches the sky with his eyes.

MAX: —Doves! A natural enemy of puffers.

LUCIA: I give up…