Gag Script - THE MISADVENTURES OF THE WORLD'S WORST SUPERHERO - BRIEF MAN!!!! (part 1) (Patreon)

THE MISADVENTURES OF THE WORLD’S WORST SUPERHERO – BRIEF MAN!!!!(part 1)

PANEL 1: We open on a dingy alleyway—the kinda place even the toughest dudes wouldn’t enter without a knife. Windows are boarded up, glory-holes riddle the walls, and two mice are dueling in the corner, pointing mousetraps at each other. Front and center, though, are two Gerald and Jay are holding a dude’s head above a toilet with a radioactive symbol on it and tentacles coming out of it. The dude’s screaming. The Greasers are laughing.

SFX: Drowning noises.

NARRATION: There is no place more dangerous than Panty’s Landing.

GERALD: This is whatcha get for messin’ with us bad dudes!

JAY: You’re gonna be a tentacle sandwich!

PANEL 2: Remember way back when, on the train, when a certain woman screamed at the Panty Mafia members? Well, she happens to by passing by the alleyway and witnesses the tentacles eating the man, causing her to scream. Jay—who’s afraid of women—leaps into a nearby dumpster, where there’s a dude clutching a donut, wearing no pants, looking super embarrassed. Gerald’s yelling at Jay.

SFX: Rustling.

WOMAN: I’ve never seen tentacles that big!

GERALD: Jay! Bad dudes stand their ground!

JAY: Women are the badder dudes, bro, hide!

DUMPSTER MAN: Lemme just say that I wasn’t fucking that donut, and let’s believe it, okay?

PANEL 3: We cut away from the alleyway, but the woman, Gerald, and Jay continue to yell so put little chibi versions of their faces in their dialogue bubbles. We’re atop a roof, showing Luther of all people standing there, arms crossed and yelling himself. He’s wearing nothing except briefs on his head and briefs on his crotch. A cape made out of the largest pair of briefs you’ve ever see flows in the wind behind him. He looks downright fierce.

WOMAN(not shown): Such BIG tentacles!

GERALD(not shown): The hell’s she doin’?

JAY(not shown): The baddest dudes!

NARRATION: Thankfully, there’s a new superhero in town!

LUTHER: Citizens! Do not fear!

PANEL 4: Intense closeup of Luther’s face. Hatched. Action lines surrounding him.

LUTHER: I AM BRIEF MAN!

EVERYONE(not shown): Who…?

PANEL 5: Shot from outside the window of an apartment building. The light’s shining through the darkness as Luther, still wearing his Brief Man outfit, sits in his chair, munching popcorn and watching soap operas. He’s wearing a blank stare. We can only see a glimpse of the outside of the apartment building but it’s friggin’ covered in tentacles, and Jay and Gerald are both hanging off them, screaming.

NARRATOR: Uh…Luther…?

LUTHER: Hello, voice in my head.

NARRATOR: Aren’t you gonna save those people? You’re Brief Man!

LUTHER: Brief Man can only briefly appear.

NARRATOR: …

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART #2!