Jess Update - Art and mental health (Patreon)

Hi guys! Jess here.  (For those of you who don't know, I'm Suede's video editor, artist, and spouse!)

Since Suede's been so honest about his updates and mental health, I wanted to do a post myself...mostly to get a lot off my chest and be more honest about the status of the art patrons.

When we started Patreon I suggested myself doing art for patrons for two reasons 1) It seemed like a fun and personal way to thank people and 2) I hadn't done any drawing for a long time, and so wanted to have an excuse push myself to do it again.

I didn't expect the number of people that would actually take these tiers! I was happy, but quickly overwhelmed. I went from doing 3 commissions to having 50+ in my queue! And that was such a big jump that it hit me hard. It began taking me months to do simple pieces, not because they were hard, but because it took that long to actually get to their place in the queue...and by the time most people got their art they had long since left that tier, and I felt so bad they never got the full perks ( such as having their art in the videos like they were promised).  The art I put out I never felt was worth all the time you patron's had to wait for it. Slowly over the last year, I've been freezing up trying to get anything art related done. 

 I've also gotten a working diagnosis of autism and ADHD. I've been doing a lot this past year to get a better understanding of myself and realizing when I freeze up, or get hyper-focused (where I can churn out art in less than a day, and then when the hyper-focus leaves the same job takes me weeks..). Just this week I was working on a piece that a patron has been waiting for. I had pushed and pushed and it had taken me weeks to squeeze this one piece out...then I accidentally hit the computer cords with my foot and the computer shut down...The file got corrupted. I broke down and felt like I had let everyone down.

So why am I telling you all this? Because like Suede I want to be honest - I don't want anyone to feel guilty for getting the art perks, because I HAVE enjoyed going out of my drawing comfort zone and I've  learned different techniques and even new programs. I'm really happy I'm doing this - that you guys have all been so patient and think my art is worth the wait or supporting Suede for.  I just wanted to be real in my apology that it's taken so long and many of you are still waiting.

Going forward, I would like to make some changes to the art perk, and I'd love anyone's feedback.

Art can be two categories:

1) A Sketch (a bit sketchier and messier, but more detailed (I love sketches more than finished pieces...I find the suggestion of lines being more interpretive to the mind, but that's a person thing - I just prefer my own art that way))

2) A simple colour piece (simple lineart/colouring, no complicated colouring, just cel shading))

I'd also prefer to draw subjects that I enjoy - not just for selfish reasons, but if I have a personal interest, then my brain can focus easier and have less mental roadblocks and get art done at a better pace for you, the patron. So I'd like to stick to these categories:

1) Anthropomorphic creatures, animals, or fantasy creatures, Pokemon, etc (These bring me great joy and are my favourites)
2) People (I take longer to do, but I like being pushed to get out of my art comfort zone)

For those of you who have already made requests outside these categories, I'm still going to do them, I just don't think I can continuing forward with the amount I need to keep up with.

Again, I'd love any insights you guys might have. Thanks for ALL your amazing support, patience and just enjoying what we do. It means so much. <3