Too Big To Ignore (Patreon)

“Hey guys, I’m not late am I?” Phil dragged a chair out and fell into place.

James was first to tease, “Not if your definition of late allows for 30 minutes of delay, you’re not.”

Jillian was quick to dogpile on, “No kidding. What’s your excuse this time, Johnny-come-lately?”

“And don’t say you got stepped on by some chick outside the restaurant again! You used that one last time.”

Phil chuckled and held up his hands in mock defeat, “Alright alright, I’m thoroughly scorned and my tardiness shan’t be repeated. You’ll forgive me when I tell you all about-”

James interrupted with a grin, “And why the heck did you insist we go to a mixed-size restaurant, anyway? I feel like I’m an ant chewing on crumbs!”

The cozy little restaurant they’d chosen was known for serving both tinies and giants. To accommodate the shrunken portion of the population, every booth table had been topped with miniature, cracker-sized tables; This allowed large numbers of shrunken patrons to be served with ease and plenty of privacy, even as the air filled with pleasant sounds of chatter and occasional laughter from distant groups.

For now, it seemed, the only giants around were a dark-skinned woman sitting at a distant booth, bent over to talk to her tiny date, and a humongous, bottom-heavy waitress that was busily darting from table to table, taking and delivering hundreds of tiny orders.

Not one to let her boyfriend’s complaints go unmatched, Jillian blurted out her thoughts like a shotgun blast, “And where the hell’s Paige?”

James whined, “Yeah! We can’t start properly drinking without her, can we?”

Paige, Phil’s long-time girlfriend, the love-of-his-life that he never went anywhere without, was so conspicuously absent that even James and Jillian had noticed.

Phil pointed a finger, “Because I’ve got big news to share, and if you two would pipe down for half a millisecond, I’d tell you.” He sat back, happily forcing his two loud-mouthed friends to sit and stew in silence for once.

“Okay,” Phil began, “So you know how Paige has been getting all kinds of medical tests done?”

James and Jillian nodded simultaneously, “Yeah…”

“And you know how her new job’s medical insurance covers all kinds of stuff, like top-quality size-treatments?”

“Uh huh…”

“And you know how Paige said she was considering applying for one of those new experimental growth serums?”

“Right…”

“And you know how I said I had big news? Big? As if I were making a very unsubtle pun to totally hint at what I’m going to say next?”

“Mhmm…”

“Well…” Phil spread his hands in exasperation, “... Do you guys really not see where I’m going with this?”

James and Jillian frowned for a second before one of them ventured, “Uh, she got a big promotion at work???”

Phil rolled his eyes skyward, “God help your eventual offspring when they drop out of middle school. No, you clowns! She got a size booster! She’s big now!”

James and Jillian simultaneously exclaimed, “Wooooah!”

“For real?”

“How big?”

“Is she permanently big?”

“Has she crushed you yet?”

“I bet she totally has!”

“What’s it like living with a giant lady?”

“What’s it like sleeping with a giant lady!?”

“Is it dangerous?”

“Yeah, sexily dangerous???”

Phil cut off the increasingly inappropriate line of questioning, “She finished her final treatment just yesterday. Last we measured she’s well over five feet tall, so yeah, it’s the real deal. We bought all new clothes and furniture, and all that stuff. You two are the first friends we wanted to tell. Just do me a favor and don’t make her feel weird about it, alright? She’s still a little self-conscious about, y’know…”

James and Jillian both finished the thought, “Being the size of a skyscraper?”

“Gaining a million billion pounds in a week?”

“Being a giantess?”

“Ugh, cringe! Giantess sounds ridiculous. Just call her a giant! A great, big, tiny-crushing giant!”

Phil grimaced, “Right. About that. I know you guys like to make all kinds of taboo jokes, and to poke fun at big girls for being clumsy, and showing lots of skin, and—”

“Oh yeah!”

“We sure do!”

Jillian and James grinned and clinked their glasses together.

“And Paige and I are totally down for that kind of stuff… But maybe, can we just not draw too much attention to her new size, and be cool? At least for tonight?”

J & J nodded considerately.

“Oh of course!”

“We’ll make her feel so comfortable!”

“No inappropriate jokes tonight!”

They clinked their glasses together again, this time in celebration of their own upstanding moral character.

Phil let out a great sigh of relief, “Thanks, you guys. That’s all I’m asking. It will mean a lot to Paige to have a normal night out with friends after a week of craziness… Um, there is just one other thing, though, before she gets here… When you notice them, please don’t make a big deal out of it, okay? For me?”

James and Jillian exchanged a glance.

“Notice what, exactly?”

“What would we possibly make a big deal out of?”

Phil took a deep breath, as if preparing to broach a very difficult topic, “You know how Paige is pretty, uh… well-endowed?”

Jillian and James smiled and nodded knowingly.

“Oh, totally. All kinds of endowed.”

“The most endowiest of us all!”

Another *clink!*

“Okay, well apparently there’s a pretty common side effect of this particular growth serum, that causes some women to, uh, expand in certain areas.”

His two friends gave him a blank-eyed stare.

“Yeah, it’s a growth serum?”

“I’d ask for a refund if it didn’t make you bigger!”

“No, I mean- As in, unexpected growth? Blessing them in the chest? Gifting them in this particular region???” Phil gestured awkwardly to his own chest. “Get what I mean?”

James frowned, “Gifts from where?”

Phil had opened his mouth to respond when Jillian pointed towards the entrance and blurted out, “Oh my God get a load of Miss Mega-Boobs at your 6-o’clock!!!”

*

The boys craned their necks to look, just as a towering goddess of a woman entered the restaurant. She’d swept her long golden hair back in a ponytail that swung to and fro, and her skinny jeans  conformed to every curve of her long, shapely legs and wide, swaying hips.

But Jillian was right: The real attraction was the woman’s astonishingly large chest, which had filled and stretched her otherwise loose-fitting t-shirt to its very limits. The shirt, once displaying some rock band name across the front, had been drawn so unseemingly tight over the swell of her chest that the letters had become warped beyond recognition. Tiny heads turned as the enormous beauty casually passed them by, bouncing delightfully with every step.

Phil already knew the gigantic newcomer, of course.

She was his girlfriend.

But Jillian and James were both too busy jeering to recognize the titaness, “Better watch out, she’s breasting boobily over this way!”

The huge woman came to a stop beside their table, looming far overhead while she glazed around the restaurant as if searching for someone.

James sipped his drink, “Uh oh, better hope all-boobs-no-brains up there doesn’t sit here or we’ll be spending dinner in the shade.”

Jillian nudged him gently, “Nice one, babe.”

Phil sighed, “Before you two laugh too hard, you should know that’s—”

Jillian still wasn’t listening, “Hang on, Chesty up there looks familiar…”

Neither was James, “Is that… no way.”

A deafening, womanly voice sang out, “Hiii guysss!!!”

Paige, standing several hundred feet taller than the last time anyone saw her, gracelessly plopped herself onto the cushioned diner bench with a shockwave comparable to a small volcano eruption. Phil braced his hands on the table as cutlery and drinks clattered, trying to prevent anything from spilling onto the floor. There were shouts of alarm from distant mini-tables, their owners glancing over in annoyance at the ginormous woman who’d just unwittingly interrupted their meals with a surprise earthquake.

A huge, beautifully smiling face peered over the cusp of her enormous chest. Paige gave a nervous little wave to her tiny little friends, “Heyyy James, heyyy Jillian… Sorry I’m late! How are you guys???”

But Paige’s tardiness was the last thing on anyone’s mind. It wasn’t even her tremendous size that caught James and Jillian off guard. Paige was a zillion times bigger, sure, but she was also unquestionably bustier. And she’d been far from flat-chested to begin with. It looked like her bosom had grown several cup-sizes since her size treatment. Once a very respectable DD cup, Paige had seemingly bulldozed her way through the alphabet… Was she an F cup, now? G? Or even bigger???

It was impossible to say, especially for those cowering in the shadow of her monstrous breasts, which hung overhead like nuclear bombs waiting to drop. The sense of scale made practical estimates simply impossible. Not to mention the distracting fact that she obviously wasn’t even wearing a bra: every time she so much as shifted in her seat her chest would commence to wobbling in every direction, and those that looked further upwards would be forced to notice the blatant swells of her nipples poking through her thin shirt.

Gaping upwards as if witnessing the great comet that would destroy the world, James was numbly repeating the sound, “Buh, buh, buhh, buh…”

Jillian’s eyes had gone wide as saucers as she struggled to finish James’ thoughts in a strangled whisper, “Biiiiig… boooobies…”

Phil snapped his finger in front of his friend’s faces and hissed too quietly for Paige to hear, “Uh, hello! Earth to the idiot twins???”

While gawking up at the sunlight-eclipsing breasts above him, James blinked several times as if waking from a deep coma, “H-hey Paige, long time no see! We—we were jugs talking about—just talking about you.” He coughed and took an awkwardly long sip of his drink.

Jillian forced the words out in a monotone, “Good afterboobs- afternoon, um, noon…” Then continued staring as a torrent of emotions crossed over her face.

Paige stared thoughtfully for a moment, her own gigantic breasts still blocking most of the sky and a portion of her face from view, “So what have you been up to?”

James stammered, “Oh you know, tits and tat—I mean, this and that.”

Jillian stepped in to help, “We’re bust—just, erm, y’know, excited that your rack—excited that you’re back! It’s been so long since we’ve seen you!”

Paige failed to notice her friends’ awkwardness thanks to their diminutive size, and beamed joyously, “Samesies! By the way, you guys notice anything different about me???” As she waited for a response she bounced in her seat, squeezing her elbows together and creating such a vigorously jiggling display that James instantly began choking and coughing on his drink.

Jillian stuttered, “W-well, if I had to guess… you certainly look bigger, Paige.”

James wheezed, “Soooo much bigger… Big big very biiiig…”

Paige simply beamed at the flattering comments, “Heehee, thaaanks!!! My size treatment went super well, as you can see! How cool is this, huh???” Then she grinned down at Phil, “Hey hon! Thanks for saving me a seat!”

Phil peered upwards, “No problem hon, I hardly had to—ack!” Two oak-tree thick fingers swooped down, casually plucking him from the table mid-sentence and dragging him towards his loving girlfriend’s great, big, wobbling, two-blimps-under-a-shirt sized chest.

Paige wanted a hug.

Phil made contact with her round chest, and for a moment she held him like that, lying pinned against the swollen bump of her nipple. The tiny man held his toothpick sized arms out in a feeble attempt to reciprocate, desperately hoping just a quick squeeze would suffice… but it was hopeless.

Paige wanted a real hug.

Inch by inch, he was forced forward by her fingers, sinking bodily into Paige’s fleshy mound despite his best efforts to stop her.

James and Jillian watched, mouths agape, as their best friend quite literally vanished into a jiggling mountain of mammary before their very eyes.

James leaned over and whispered only half-jokingly, “Uh, one of us knows CPR, right? Just in case?”

Jillian whispered back, “You think her boobs really are bigger, or is it just, like, a trick of perspective? Y’know, because Phil looks so tiny compared to… to all that?”

“You mean like an optical illusion, but for boobs? A boobical illusion???”

“Yeah, exactly.”

The tiny couple pondered that for a moment.

Paige’s heaving chest gently wobbled as she wriggled her fingers back and forth as one final show of affection, “Love you, sweetie~❤!”

A muffled groan came back: It might have been Phil trying to express his own feelings, or it might have simply been a desperate cry for oxygen. There was no way of knowing.

Finally satisfied, Paige simply let her hand drop. “Who's next??? Don’t be shy!”

Jillian and James looked at Paige. Then they looked at each other. They looked at Phil, who was still plastered helplessly over one great bulging nipple. “Uhhhh….”

With a crash, Phil peeled free and dropped to the table in a heap. After clambering to his feet he slumped, defeated, into his chair. His clothing was all disheveled, his face was red, and he was gasping like he’d just run five miles. He began straightening his rumpled, sweaty clothing, “H-hey guys… Now where— where were we?”

James pursed his lips, weighing a dangerous choice, “Yknow what? I’ll take a hug. As long as Jillian promises to resuscitate me with mouth-to-mouth afterwards—Ow!” James rubbed at his shoulder, where Jillian had just smacked him.

She answered for both of them, “That’s sweet of you to offer, Paige, but we’ll pass for now. We wouldn’t want to steal even one hug from the Philster!”

Phil, still recovering from his ordeal, flashed a middle finger.

Smiling, Paige began to stand, “Alrighty! Actually, can you guys excuse me for just a sec? I think I forgot my purse in the car… Be right baaack!”

The ground rocked beneath everyone’s feet as Paige got to her feet, accidentally bumping the table with her immense hips along the way. “Oh, I almost forgot!” Paige planted her hands down, nearly smashing another group of tiny diners, and bent forward, narrowly avoiding another table as her immense chest plopped onto the wooden surface. Then she pursed her red lips and swooped forwards.

Phil, seeing what was coming, threw his hands up, “Wait, hon, you don’t have to—!!!”

*smoosh!*

Paige’s enormous, plump lips came down and squashed Phil into the ground, breaking his chair to pieces as she gave him a quick smooch. James and Jillian prudently ducked in time to avoid her massive yet flawlessly smooth cheek and jaw, as Paige let out an amorous, “Mmmm!” that left tinies’ teeth rattling and glasses of water quaking.

“Mwah!” The giant woman stood with a grin, happily leaving her miniscule boyfriend lying in a sticky imprint of lipstick and saliva. “Okay, back in a jiffy!” Then the woman turned and calmly strutted away, her booming footfalls fading fast.

*

The moment Paige was out of earshot, James and Jillian both began shouting over one another, “Holy halabahoos!”

“Absolute squeezers!”

“So big you could land a plane on’em!”

“Or lose a plane between ’em!!!”

Phil staggered up and grabbed an intact replacement chair, “How immature are you guys!?”

But Jillian only applauded him with two thumbs up, “We always knew you were a boob guy, Phil. Happy for you, truly. You’re one lucky dude. It’s… Good for you, y’know? Hell, I wanna give ’em a pinch.”

Phil began wiping lipstick off of his face and body with a napkin, “Jillian… she’s always had big boobs!”

“Dude, those aren’t boobs. I have boobs.” Jillian gestured offhandedly to her own chest, “Those are more like… like—”

James leaned in, “Fuckin’ planets, dude!”

Jillian nodded, and the two tapped their glasses together again. “You always know just what I’m thinkin’, babe.”

“They were big as cantaloupes before, but now they’re like… woah MOMMA!”

“Do you still pay rent, or are you just living between those things?”

Phil held his head in his hands, “You guys are such idiots…”

James held up a hand, “Okay, okay. We’re sorry, we’ll take it down a notch. We were just caught off guard, is all. A little shocked.”

Jillian blurted, “Shocked by those big bouncin’ hooters!”

James gently nudged her in the side, “Enough about Paige’s shirt-filling, car-crushing, boyfriend-smothering knockers, babe!”

Jillian delicately sipped at her drink and mumbled, “Just sayin’... could suck on those massive fuckin’ cans for days…”

James frowned, immediately forgetting his pledge to change topics, “How’d they get so big, anyway? I swear they weren’t that big before.”

Phil rolled his eyes, realizing there was no way out this conversation, “Apparently it’s a very common side effect of certain size treatment methods to alter a woman’s hormones, or something, and cause all kinds of stuff to happen. Long story short, her boobs got bigger, she has trouble concentrating on stuff sometimes, and she can be a lot more, let’s call it affectionate.” Phil finished wiping a long streak of red lipstick from his neck and tossed the now pink napkin aside. “As you can see.”

James nodded, “Jill was actually thinking about applying for size treatment, too. Heh, we better hope you don’t end up expanding too, babe, can you imagine if your butt got any bigger?”

Jillian chuckled and wriggled her sizeable backside in her seat, causing the chair to creak, “Oh my god, right? You’d have to upgrade your squish insurance for sure!”

“Ha! If that happened you’d totally be more careful where you sat though, right, babe?” Jillian, it seemed, was busy daydreaming to herself, carelessly rocking her hips in her chair. Jame’s carefree smile slipped a bit, “Uh, right? Jill…?”

A commotion across the restaurant drew their attention.

*

Upon returning, Paige wandered past the kitchen at the exact moment a tiny busboy was hurrying back with a tray of empty glasses over his shoulder. Paying little attention to her surroundings, and unable to see the floor due to her great protruding chest anyway, Paige’s bus-sized foot swung out and descended upon the shrunken worker like a homing missile.

Unable to run with his burden, the little man froze in place, getting out one last scream of, “WAIT, PLEASE—” before he disappeared underfoot.

To her credit, Paige realized her mistake as a sad *squelch!* noise and the sound of breaking porcelain came from beneath her pointed shoe, “Oops, pardon me! Sorry!”

In a hasty attempt to undo her mistake, she lifted one foot off the ground, briefly flashing the shrunken restaurant worker’s flattened body towards horrified spectators. Unfortunately, as her gigantic chest swung like two bowling balls, she lost her balance and tottered sideways. Instinctively reaching out to catch her fall, Paige’s hand slammed down, instantly flattening an unfortunate family of tinies who had just been served their meal.

Paige frowned down at her feet, realizing she’d stepped on the man a second time when she lost her balance. She grimaced further when she saw several very unhappy-looking people mixed into the food stains on the palm of her hand. “Sorry, sorry!!!” Grabbing the nearest napkin, Paige wiped her hand clean, only to realize that left her holding the evidence of her error: a dirty cloth covered in angry tiny people. “Shit, uh… sorry!” Paige offered one last apology before folding the napkin up and hastily jamming it (and all its hapless captives) down her extremely tight back pocket, then hurrying back to her friends.

Phil, James, and Jillian’s table rattled once more as Paige dropped heavily into her seat with tomato red cheeks. After glancing over her shoulder she whispered nervously, “You guys didn’t see me squish those people, did you?”

James and Jillian were terrible liars, but at least they tried to uphold their promise not to make their giant friend feel awkward.

“No, no, nooo! We didn’t see you crush a whole table full of people or anything!”

“And we definitely didn’t hear them scream before you sat down just now, either!”

Phil called reassuringly upwards, “Don’t worry hun, nobody saw.”

James cleared his throat considerately, “You… may want to check your shoe, though.”

Jillian added, “Y’know, just in case.”

Paige furrowed her brow, “Huh???” and leaned down to check her shoe, gently bumping the table with her expansive chest. Then she groaned, “Oooh nooo, I forgot about him!” Paige glanced around again, as if expecting the size-police to come arrest her at any moment. “Guys, what do I do? Should I just… pretend I didn’t see him, or something?”

Phil balked, “Paige! You can’t just leave him there!”

Paige whined, “I knooowww, but I don’t wanna get us kicked out!!!”

Jillian shrugged, “Just scrape him off, then! The longer you wait the worse it’ll be.”

James added, “Plus he can probably hear everything you’re saying right now…”

Paige blushed even deeper red, and thought it over. “Okay… You’re right. Here goes.” When she thought nobody was looking, she stuck her long leg out into the middle of the floor, and stomped down, dragging the sole of her shoe slooowly across the tiles.

“Crap…” Paige frowned as the little man’s battered body gradually came halfway loose, only to dangle from her foot like a piece of tape. Kicking once, twice, Paige managed to free him, and he fell to the floor in a limp pile. Paige cheered despite his mangled appearance, “There! Got him!”

Judging by his expression, the busboy was significantly less enthusiastic about the conclusion of his encounter with this particular big-boobed guest, as he struggled to peel himself off the floor.

James called out a warning, “Look out, here comes Wobble Wagon!”

The restaurant's singular full-sized waitress, donned in a tight-fitting uniform and dark pants that hugged her eye-catchingly massive behind like shrink-wrap, sauntered past without so much as a downward glance.

Unfortunately, Paige had foolishly discarded the busboy right in the center of the floor, where a line indicated the “danger zone” for tinies that only full-sized staff were supposed to walk along. The busboy had been free no more than a handful of seconds before the long-legged waitress, utterly oblivious to her shrunken co-worker’s fate, brought her foot down right on top of him.

When she’d passed, Paige was shocked to find not a trace of the little man anywhere… Until she turned her eyes to the ample-bottomed waitress, and saw the flattened form of the tiny man trapped underneath one of her shoes, rising and (painfully) falling with every step. Now that she was looking, she caught sight of another person under the other shoe, too… Paige watched in shock, wondering if she should intervene in some way, but in the end she simply sat and watched indecisively until the waitress turned a corner and out of sight. Feeling the slightest bit responsible for what happened, Paige muttered, “Whoops…”

James winced with pity and tried to sound optimistic, “Don’t worry, I’m sure Big-Butt over there steps on her coworkers all the time. She’ll probably check her shoes before too long.”

Jillian added, “And hey, if she doesn’t, at least he’s stuck to a girl with a big fat ass, right?”

“I know that’s who I’d want to be stuck to!”

James and Jillian high fived.

Paige frowned somewhat guiltily, “I know it’s not a huge deal or anything, but I’m really trying not to be one of those klutzes we always made fun of, y’know? That’s why I’m trying to be really careful around tinies, whenever I can!”

James muttered into his drink, “Too late for that…”

“But for some reason it’s gotten a lot harder to balance recently… I don’t know why! It feels like I’m way heavier, all of a sudden!”

“It’s a real mystery…” Jillian said, eyeing the two wrecking-balls attached to Paige’s chest.

Paige shrugged, evidently all too happy to forgive herself, “Oh well. Are you guys ready to order? Why’s service so slow here, anyway? Where’s the waiter???” As she leaned forward to look for a staff member, her humongous chest suddenly swung out overhead, quite literally filling the entire sky with boob. What began as a dim shade became a total eclipse of light…

Thankfully for the people seated below her, however, she descended no further, leaving them peering up and merely wondering if they’d be crushed at any moment.

James muttered, “Uh, I think I know why service is slow…”

Plastered against one of Paige’s humongous hanging breasts, was a tiny waiter. It was impossible to say how long he’d been stuck like that, but it was clear Paige wasn’t aware of his presence as he continued to wobble defenselessly along with her movements. He must have gotten mashed into the cotton fibers of her shirt after being accidentally crushed… How Paige had managed to get him stuck to her chest, of all places, was another mystery entirely.

Phil shouted out, “Paige! I think our waiter’s stuck to your… PAIGE!!!” But she didn’t hear him. As she shifted her bosom swung down, bringing the waiter even closer. Phil locked eyes with him and offered the best he could, which amounted to a sympathetic look.

The waiter stared back, a look of deep weariness in his eyes. He gave a perfectly exhausted, unenthusiastic thumbs-up. You tried your best, said the look. This happens all the time.

Before anyone could offer the poor man further solace or assistance, Paige began to sit back up, lifting him into the air. The three tinies watched in mild horror as the helpless waiter was swallowed in the narrow gap between Paige’s ginormous boob and her sternum, trapping him in a jiggling and inescapable underboob prison.

James quipped, “We’ll have to remember to tip well.”

Jillian tried to change the subject to something less gruesome, “Say, Paige, I couldn’t help but notice your shirt!”

“Oh! Isn’t it cute? I saved it from way before everyone shrank!” Paige pulled it, stretching the printed words out so they were almost legible, though her nipples still warped several letters. “It’s my favorite band ever!” As she tugged the shirt from beneath her chest, the waiter was mercifully dragged free from the underboob crevice he’d been caught within. Unfortunately, the moment Paige released the stretchy fabric it snapped back around her bosom like an elastic, smacking him directly into her flesh.

Still oblivious to the tiny restaurant worker being battered against her gigantic, plump body, Paige furrowed her brow, “Strangest thing though, it used to fit a lot better! I guess it must’ve shrunk in the wash, or something… I just hope it’s not too obvious that I’m braless.” Deep in thought, Paige proceeded to adjust her shirt, dragging and smearing the shrunken waiter all across the underside of her breasts.

James averted his eyes, doing his best to look anywhere but the obscene display, while Jillian stared directly at it with the stunned expression of someone about to have a heart attack.

Phil took a jaded sip of his drink, knowing he’d probably be in that waiter’s place before long anyway.

Two booming footsteps interrupted everyone’s reverie, as yet another humongous shape cast a shadow over the table and a bubbly voice announced, “Hi! Sorry about the wait, one of our waiters seems to have gone missing.” The waitress, towering over the whole table like a megalithic being, shrugged and smiled, “Anyway! What can I get you all?”

*

“And here’s the bill! Thanks for dining with us today!” Having collected everyone’s empty, crumb-covered plates, the waitress hurried off to the kitchen, a faint squishing noise coming from under each foot as she went.

Once she’d gone, Jillian looked up, “So, Paige. Just for the record, we’re totally cool with you being, erm…”

James finished, “Bigger than a friggin’ oil tanker, and all that.”

“Yeah. And we apologize if any of our comments were over the line.”

Paige blinked, “Comments?”

James held her hands out like he was carrying two big melons, “About your…?”

“Oh! I don’t mind! You guys are funny, and it makes me feel like things are back to normal, instead of me being some giant outcast, y’know? Plus I can always just drop one of you down my cleavage if you take it too far, heehee!” Paige’s giggling didn’t clarify how serious or joking she was.

Jillian boldly raised her nearly empty drink, “Then mazel tov to your great, big, sloshing milkers!”

James clinked his glass to hers, “Cheers to Paige’s brand-spanking-new boobies!”

Everyone looked expectantly at Phil, who blinked cautiously, “What?”

Jillian asked, “Aren’t you gonna complete the toast by making some crude comment about your godzilla girlfriend’s big, bouncing bubblies?”

The entire table jolted as Paige set her elbows down and bent forward, “C’mon sweetie! Just one!” Paige had loosened up considerably over the course of the night, and over the course of a few drinks. As she leaned forward, her titanic chest bumped against her tiny boyfriend’s head. Although he was burdened with only the tiniest fraction of her total weight, Phil still struggled underneath the mass of flesh above him, bracing against the table as he tried to prevent his spine from buckling.

Unable to actually see her tiny boyfriend, Paige blissfully assumed he was enjoying the feeling of her pressing herself against his back, held up her drink with a giggle, “Here, I’ll go next. To my… big, uh, super big… tatas?”

James and Jillian raised their glasses higher, supportive of their ditzy friend’s pathetic attempt at wordplay. “Here here!”

Paige lowered herself further, and goaded, “Your turn, sweetie!”

James watched as Paige’s nipple came to rest directly on top of his madly blushing friend, “Come on dude, just one boob joke!”

Phil, realizing his only way out from beneath the many tons of flesh bearing down on him was to play along, struggled to raise his glass in a trembling hand, “To Paige, and her… heavenly yet heavy burden of bosom.”

Paige’s giggling was deafening, “Oh my god, Phil, you are such a goof!” Under normal circumstances, Phil would have taken great pride in making his girlfriend laugh so heartily, but unfortunately her mirth caused the heaving mass on top of him to wobble past the point of collapse.

With a *crunch!* Phil’s chair broke, dropping him flat on the ground. Paige’s enormous boob, now unsupported, came not far behind, and landed on top of him with a hefty *THUMP!*

Paige, oblivious to the fact that her boyfriend was now hopelessly pinned beneath her huge jiggling chest, grinned blissfully, “Cheers!” And threw her drink back, causing her chest to briefly rise from the table, only to plop back down moments later.

James and Jillian exchanged a glance as their friend was mercilessly crushed by the world’s largest titty drop, then shrugged.

“Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

From beneath Paige’s boob came a faint voice, “Eeermff!”

Paige set her empty, castle-tower sized glass down, “So, who’s paying?”

James and Jillian glanced towards Phil. Or what remained of him… there was just a twitching arm sticking out from underneath Paige’s humongous rack. Clearly he wasn’t about to bust out his wallet any time soon.

James gave an exaggerated sigh, “Alright, I suppose it’s only fair that we cover this one, to make up for all our earlier comments. And since we’re kinda celebrating your new giant-ness, and stuff.”

“Aww, you don’t have to!” Paige smiled, but made no attempt to argue the point as she stood, unwittingly bringing Phil with her as he remained splayed out against one tit. “This was so fun! Let’s get together again soon, kay? See ya guys!!!” Paige waved, carelessly sloshing her enormous chest back and forth over everyone’s heads one last time.

Then she turned, briefly showing off her gigantic, jean-clad behind. The corner of a cloth napkin jutted from the towering woman’s back pocket, which conformed snugly to her huge round buttock. For just a moment James and Jillian heard faint screams of panic emanating from somewhere within… Then Paige sauntered off with a carefree bounce in her step.

James watched her go with a mixture of sympathy and relief, “Whoof… Glad I’m not in their shoes.”

Jillian nodded, “No kidding, didn’t she drive here? They’re in for a hell of a bumpy ride.”

“You’re not going to be that much of a menace when you grow, are you?”

“Heh. I’ll definitely wear tighter pants… Just so I can stuff you down the back whenever you tick me off.” Jillian smirked and suggestively wiggled her hips at her boyfriend.

“Don’t I even get to go in a pocket? Or at least down the front?”

“Mmm… It’ll depend on my mood.” Jillian winked, then went over the lawn sized receipt that had been placed at the edge of the big table, “Holy crap, look at this! How much did Paige eat?”

James frowned at the bill, “You know what they say… big girl, big appetite. Plus she has to feed those monsters of hers somehow, I guess.”

The two had just finished throwing a handful of speck-sized bills down when the waitress from earlier appeared, bustling towards them.

“Colossal caboose, coming through!” Jillian nudged James with her hips and quipped under her breath, “You think my ass will end up being that big?”

James gave it an uneasy look, “As big as Miss Wide Load’s? I’m not sure how I’ll survive more than a week if it does…”

But the waitress neither reached for their bill nor passed them by. Instead she slowed to a stop and, after glancing about the mostly empty restaurant, casually leaned herself up against the table’s edge.

James staggered, “What the hell is she doing?”

Jillian paled as the waitress pulled out a phone and started leisurely tapping away, “Uh, I think she’s going on break…”

With a hair-raising rumble, the waitress leaned backwards, resting her colossal hips onto the wobbly piece of furniture. The polished surface sagged and tipped upwards under her heavyweight backside, suddenly turning the ground beneath the two tinies’ feet into a perilous slope. James and Jillian lost their footing and began plummeting downwards towards the fat, wide ass awaiting them. There was just the thinnest divide between each rounded cheek, and it seemed that unfortunate opening was to be their destination.

As she and her boyfriend both slid into the warm, dark crevice, Jillian couldn’t help but quip nervously, “Maybe we cracked one too many jokes, babe…”

James desperately braced himself against the waitress’ ass cheek, preventing himself from falling any deeper, and chuckled nervously, “Come on, we’re not the butt of the joke yet! She has to know we’re here!” James looked up as a great big finger came into view, barreling directly towards them. “See? I knew she’d—”

*squish!*

Something was itching, back there. After ensuring nobody was around to see, Hannah forced her finger between her cheeks, impatiently rubbing the annoying feeling into the taut fabric of her own pants. Had she sat on a crumb, or something? Well, whatever, her break was almost over anyway. Hannah lazily retrieved her finger and looked at it.

There was something stuck to her fingertip… Was that gum? Hannah peered at it carefully. It almost looked like it was moving. It almost looked like a shrunken face was staring back at her. Was that…

Someone from the kitchen called her name. Hannah groaned and bounced to her feet, pocketing her phone and casually wiping the mysterious little wad onto the back of her overly-tight pants. “Coming!!!”

Snatching up the bill, Hannah counted out the little green flecks of paper and stuffed several into a pocket. The money may have been microscopic, but a tip was a tip!

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This is a comical one-off story, inspired by a discussion on Discord regarding this youtube skit. A patron said it would make a funny size short, and I agreed. Please let me know what you think, and whether you want more (or less) like this in the future either here or on the patron Discord!

For those wondering, Movie Night Chapter 3 is just going through final polish, and will be posted either by the end of this month, or very early next month!