[Draft] [BPOF] Chapter 1 - Escape in First Person (Patreon)
Content
I wanted to try writing the chapter in first person. I personally feel this works better but your opinions are welcome. Also it is still a draft and I have some more work to do once I decide which style to go with.
And his grandmother died. This leaves nothing important in his life. He can only cry to himself. Soon a man enters to check on the ruckus. Then as if having his grandmother die wasn’t enough this man doesn’t comfort or ignore him, instead with a shout of joy the man leaves. Soon the boy can hear him shouting out the news. This shocks the boy out of his daze. “I need to burn this note or even being family won’t protect me.”, and so he tosses the only thing left from his father in the dying fire.
The boy isn’t alone long as soon everyone at the clan’s compound shows up at the house. Cruel jeers and insults fly his way, but it settles quickly as everyone makes way for a group of old men. He can see leading the group is a man with gray hair but a young body. After searching his memory the boy remembers that is the Head Elder for the compound. As these elders enter the house, he glances around, “phew, the note has completely burned.”
As the boy looks back at the elders, they have stopped at the doors threshold. The Head Elder turns to a hunched old woman and nods. This woman responds by retrieving an ornate staff from her back. At the sight of this the boy can only hiss. “They brought out the clans Totem and I don’t think it is to honor grandma’s passing.”
Then the Head Elder takes the Totem and taps it on the ground 3 times. This shocks the boy as the noise it makes is much louder than it should be. It has silenced all noise in the area. Then the Head Elder speaks, “As the Head Elder and with the power vested in me by the Taf clan I exile you nameless child. You now lack any direct relatives in our clan and we see no reason to keep you any longer. By dawn we expect you to be gone and you may take nothing with you as it all belongs to the clan.” Then the Head Elder glances at the child’s dirty loincloth. Seeing this the boy blushes fiercely but the Head Elder continues as if not noticing, “On second thought keep that rag to cover yourself to not dirty our eyes.” He once again bangs the Totem three times and sound returns to the area. Turning back to the hunched elder he returns the Totem then all the elders leave as one.
Once again alone he cries, silently this time, “I am nameless and now clanless. Oh grandmother, how can I live a good life now? I can’t even give you a proper burial.” Eventually though he picks himself up and goes to leave. Luckily though before he opens the door, the boy hears a conversation taking place on the other side, “eep watching the damn door. If he doesn’t come out, it makes our job easier. Killing him here will be cleaner than having to tail him till after dawn.” Hearing this the boy doesn’t even wait to listen to the rest. Out the back of the house he leaves, “Good thing grandma had me make an escape tunnel. Not only did it let me gather herbs to ease her but now I can escape. This would have been harder if we didn’t live on the compound’s edge.” A quick wiggle through the tunnel and he escaped unnoticed.
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However, this wasn’t the case. Back in the compound all the elders have gathered elsewhere watching what might be the most complex formation in the whole village. The moment our boy entered that tunnel one section of formation lit up and as he left a stone disk went from showing a dot to having an arrow. The Head Elder laughs, “How could a clan with holdings in an empires capital let even its farthest flung holdings be so easily penetrated? Silly jinx, we knew the moment you even started digging your silly tunnel. If only you had gotten yourself killed without our interference. We have even had an expensive anti-theft formation put on your loincloth. This stone disk will track you to the ends of the world.” Smiling, the Head Elder turns to a rough-looking man with mismatched leather gear, “He has left our ‘protection’. Take this tracker and have your crew ‘take care’ of him."
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We now find the boy sneaking through town. He glances down an alley only to see a stack of boxes. Not hearing anyone nearby he squirms in behind them. Feeling somewhat safe he thinks to himself that, “maybe I can hide here the rest of the night. Tomorrow I can try to sneak out with the morning crowd.”
However, less than an hour later the sounds of many boots pounding against the road reaches his ears. Worrying about it he decides this isn’t a good hiding spot after all. Just having turned the corner his fears are confirmed. Back the way he came from the sound of boxes getting smashed rings out. Fear courses through his veins and he can’t stop himself from running.
“With the village no longer safe where can I go? In every direction but one are fields. Grandma I wanted to live, but the clan has pushed me into a corner. The only way to escape them is the beast forest.” With a sad sigh he changes his direction to the gate facing the forest. Soon he exits the village and even makes it two-thirds of the way to the forest when a shout rings out behind him. Not even turning to check he bursts into an all-out sprint until he reaches the trees.
After he makes it a good distance into the forest the sounds of pursuit fade away. Up till now he had seen no beasts, but he knew that wouldn’t hold. “I don’t want to go deeper but there isn’t any other way. If I wait till morning, the clan will send actual cultivators and the only place safe from them is deeper. Even with no cultivation the beasts would make the strongest cultivators in the village pause.” His eyes take on a cold glare and he continues deeper.
As he runs glowing eyes appear around him. Nothing has attacked him yet and he can only laugh at his own situation. “Even the beasts don’t want someone as untalented as me”, though his thoughts are quickly proven wrong as a giant fox twice his height jumps out at him. Stumbling backward he falls down as it growls at him. The fox crouches down in preparation to pounce at him and he closes his eyes while covering his head.
A loud crash and the boy tenses. Seconds pass yet the pain doesn’t come. He opens his eyes and the giant fox is dead with an even bigger panther on top of it. “From bad to worse. Hopefully, it doesn’t want a human-shaped desert. Maybe it will let me run around baiting out other creatures?” Though these thoughts are grim, he still wants to survive or at least make it deep enough the clan can’t confirm his death. Already on the ground he crawls away from the bloody scene. Once behind a tree he uses it to stand up on shaky legs. After catching his breath he legs it. Now he can’t even think while heading ever deeper.
Farther in the fewer beasts can be seen. However, each new pair of glowing eyes cause his blood to run colder. Eventually after running almost all night a clearing comes up ahead of him. Barely managing to stop before entering his mind races, “The only clearings in the forest are controlled by the most powerful beasts. I think this might be the end of me but at least the clan won’t be able to confirm my death with any ease.” He peeks into the clearing and finds a hill. On top of that hill sits a turtle almost as big as the hill itself. Freezing in place his heart pounds. The turtle pokes its head out and takes a glance at him. It seems to sigh and shake its head before pulling back into its shell.
“It saw me. It definitely saw me. I’m still alive, why am I still alive? In fact, it is now ignoring me. Okay, I need to breath. What else is in the clearing besides the turtle? Mostly barren ground and the hill is in shadows. Wait, that one shadow is too deep.” He moves along the edge of the clearing and confirms it, “That shadow is hiding a small cave. To enter I’d have to crouch but that might be my way to safety. The cave is at the turtles side. That means it probably can’t directly attack me. Plus, I have no better option.” He sighs and starts calmly walking forward.
“If I tried to sneak the turtle might take offense. It knows I am here already so calm and steady. One foot in front of the other. Almost there now.” Then the turtle stirs. In a panic he dives for the cave entrance. As he sails into the hole, it becomes clear the turtle was only adjusting its position but it is too late. No going back after leaping and what he sees ahead pays homage to the say ‘look before you leap’. Instead of going straight the tunnel angles downward sharply. He hits the ground and rolls down the sloped tunnel. Twisting and turning he keeps banging into the wall until he loses consciousness.
The next thing he knows a dunk in cold water wakes him up. Sputtering he pulls himself out of a pool. He quickly goes back in to wash off the muck that got on him. Finally he looks around and thinks to himself, “I won’t be going out the way I came in. Even if it wasn’t so steep the tunnel comes out up on the wall. It much higher than I could hope to jump to.” Then he notices that the room is lit despite being so far underground. Glancing up it becomes clear that glowing moss covers the entire ceiling.
The glow freaks him out and takes another closer look at the cave he is in. Quickly it becomes clear the only life is that moss. Even that avoids the walls. “This is bad. With nothing living I don’t have any food. Worse there isn’t anything growing in the water. I probably shouldn’t drink the water either.” With that he turns and spits into the pool.
“I am to out of sorts. Think of the good things. First my clan can never find me. I don’t think that turtle would let any cultivator close. Next the tunnel goes deeper so I might have a way out. Finally, I am missing my loincloth.” That last thought seemed to just appear. Shocked by it he quickly checks and the loincloth is gone. In fact, he can’t even remember when he lost it. This should be bad. However, it being gone has lifted an invisible weight from his mind. “Maybe I am relieved that my last connection to the clan is gone. Anyway, sitting here doesn’t do me any good. I need to keep moving or I might collapse.”
Sighing, he continues onward. “The slope downward isn’t too steep. I guess I can’t just let it do the work for me this time. Now that can pay attention it seems to always curve in the same direction. Guess there goes my hope of this being a tunnel out of the forest.” Eventually the glow gets brighter. Glancing upward a shocking sight greets him. The moss is gone but in its place is line after line of intricate runes. “Those should not be here. The village only had the simplest of talismans and runed items. These runes shouldn’t be here. Hell, I can see the World Energy twisting around them.” Continuing onward he can’t help but think about the runes.
Then he realizes something, “I can’t remember what any of them look like! Not that I was expecting to memorize them but I should have some clue to their shape.” Looking at the runes again he tries to focus on one specific rune. After spending a good couple of minutes engraving the shape into his mind. However, the second he looks away all knowledge of the rune flows out of him. No matter how hard he tries not even a single stroke of it comes to mind. Looking up, he can’t figure which of the runes it was.
Spooked by this he can only hurry along quicker. Soon though a wooden gate can be seen just ahead. After getting closer he can see it is thrice his height and intricately carved with runes. Despite the runes on it not glowing they seem filled with even more power. Even as he looks at them they disappear from his mind. “If the gate attacks nothing would remain. However, with no other way I guess I get to figure out what it does.”
As he approaches it a force, grabs hold forcing him to stop. Unable to move he can only stand there as the gate glimmers and glows. Then beams of light shoot out at him and a grand sounding voice booms out, “Brave one, I hope you are prepared for dead. If this gate finds even a trace of a cultivation technique from one of my enemies, you shall cease to be. If you pass don’t feel relieved for only more tests await you further in.”
At this he relaxes, “well I can’t fail this test. How could I have his enemies technique when I don’t even have a cultivation to begin with? Those further tests might end me, not that I have any options.” As he ruminates on this the light passes over him. It seems this was enough to scan him as the voices speaks, “Congratulations for having passed. Though if you thought of retreating, I regretfully inform you that is no longer an option.”, and the gate opens before the force drags him through. Then with a soft clang the gate is shut behind him.
Standing there it takes a moment before realizing the force has released him. With a shrug he continues, it wasn’t like retreat was an option to begin with. However his night is catching up with him. Till now his body had been running on fear and adrenaline but they are both wearing off. He can only trudge forward towards whatever the next test might be. “I would have preferred the force just drag me to the next place. At least then I could rest.” No such luck as he approaches a slab of stone blocking the way forward. On it are words in another language. He worries for a second of failing because he can’t read the stone.
However, it soon solves this problem for him as the words and letter all shift into his language. Reading it over he realizes despite filling the whole slab it is asking the same question over and over in different manners. All it asks is what he lives for. “Not the easiest to answer at the best of times. There are so many options for me. After all do I seek revenge on my clan? That would be nice but can you call that living? Maybe become powerful enough that no one can ruin my future? That doesn’t feel right either.” But then it hits him. The revenge, the power? None of it matters in the end. All he wants for his life? It’s what his grandmother wanted for him and he says so to the slab, “I want to live a good life”.
With that simple answer the stone slides up into the ceiling. Behind is a second stone slab asking, “Why do you want that?”, but it slide into the ceiling as well. In fact, he sees three more slabs raising behind that. Those stone slabs are too far away to read before disappearing. Apparently his answer was truly the correct one.
Now with nothing barring his way he stumbles onward. In a daze at this point he walks right into an entrance hall without noticing. It is only when he almost bumps into the vase of stone flowers in the room’s center that he notices. Beyond that he sees benches to the side. Seeing nothing threatening, everything that happened hits him and he barely lies down on one before losing consciousness.