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After Cerberus attacked Eden Prime, one of the inhabitants somehow gained special abilities after touching a Prothean relic. How does he seemingly use that new power? Forcing Miranda Lawson to shove things up her butt, with the help of his new girlfriend Liara, of course.

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Mass Effect: The Bonds of Anal

As an owner of land on Eden Prime, Daniel had to hope this was the last of any attacks that occurred on the first human colony in space. The recent Cerberus attack was, to put it mildly, disastrous for his home. He had spent all this time building the credits to make a home for himself out here,...

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